Gay Man Jailed For
Telling Son He is Gay
Tennessee resident Joe Hogue thought he was being a good father by answering his 9-year-old son's questions about Hogue's homosexuality.
But Hogue's honesty got him put in jail, then got him rebuked by an appeals court that essentially ordered him to act straight and not 'subject' his son to the 'gay lifestyle.'
Hogue, a producer in the Christian music industry, and his wife, Cher, divorced in February 2002, and Hogue went on to lead his life as a gay man. Though Hogue got partial custody to his son, part of the divorce decree by a lower court prohibited him from 'taking the child around or otherwise exposing the child to his gay lover(s) and/or his gay lifestyle.'
According to a complaint filed by his ex-wife, Hogue allowed his son to be with his lover in their home, and (ironically) at church.
But what really got the ex-wife all riled was when Hogue told his son he is gay. 'When someone is gay, they are born like that,' he told his boy. The mother claimed he was violating the court order to 'shield' the little boy from the 'homosexual lifestyle.'
Yeah. God forbid the little kid learn honesty and integrity and tolerance from his gay dad. Much better to follow the lead of the vindictive mother, and learn bigotry, denial, vengeance and homophobia.
At least one court in Tennessee agreed. It found Hogue guilty of violating the divorce agreement, and sent him to jail for two days.
Luckily, an appeals court disagreed at least with the part. 'We do not read the restraining order to prohibit a statement by the father that he is gay,' an appeals court judge wrote. 'Thus, husband did not have notice that he was prohibited from telling his son he was gay and therefore cannot be held in contempt ....'
Sadly, however, the appeals court found nothing wrong with the lower court order requiring that the little boy not be 'exposed' to Hogue's 'gay lifestyle.'
What—they don't want the son to have good taste in clothes or be able to pick out nice antiques or to arrange flowers? Or maybe they don't want the son to learn about self-respect, or love, or civil rights?
Hogue told his son he was gay because his son was asking questions—as kids that age are apt to do. Hogue became concerned when his son confided in him that others were gossiping. Worse, the child was being told that his father's soul was going to be damned.
The rightfully alarmed Hogue wanted to clear it up with his son, to let his son know that he was a good Christian, and that he did not believe he was going to hell for being gay.
I often hear critics—even gay and lesbian parents—say kids shouldn't be told about homosexuality when they are 'too young.'
But unlike being gay, homophobia and prejudice and bigotry are not inherent traits and characteristics. Those ugly attributes are totally man-made and learned. People who say we shouldn't talk to kids about homosexuality until they are 'old enough to know about it,' are really saying we should just wait until kids are already brainwashed by society to hate gay people, and then we should try to do a meager job of reversing the damage.
To most kids, being gay or lesbian is initially a neutral point. It becomes an issue when they pick up on societal clues around them.
Anyone who thinks that pre-teen kids are 'too young' to know about gays has never been to a local playground or in a contemporary school, where the words 'fag' and 'gay' are used incessantly. And not in a good way.
The question isn't whether or not kids should learn about what it means to be gay. They're going to get information about it one way or the other.
The question is what they hear, how they hear it, and who they hear it from.
For Hogue, the issue was being honest with his son, letting his son know who he really is, and trying to educate his son differently from the redneck viewpoints he was otherwise getting—the only viewpoints the little boy apparently was getting.
Hogue did a brave and courageous thing as a gay man. More importantly, he did the right thing as a good father.
MubarakDah@aol.com
