Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-12-13
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor

  WINDY CITY TIMES

VIEWS Inside Out by Yvonne Zipter
For Whom the (Wedding) Bell Tolls
2003-07-30

This article shared 3370 times since Wed Jul 30, 2003
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


With Lawrence et al. v. Texas having set up various state laws—including those banning same-sex marriage—to fall like dominos, I

figured it might be time to start thinking about tying the knot. Of course, mortgages, dogs, networks of friends and families, and joint

purchases of all manner have already so knotted my gal and I together we are like an out-of-control macramé project. But most

governmental offices and anyone with a skintight definition of morality are too dense to see commitment there. No, what matters,

apparently, is an hour before a judge or religious dude—not the three days Kathy sat at my bedside in the hospital 10 years ago or

the fact that I've been asked to take part in her sister's wedding. Still, professing our love in front of those we most cherish and then

eating cake seems like a lot more fun than sitting in a hospital, so I'm game!

The big important questions—like where do a Catholic girl and a fallen-away Protestant girl get married, what will we call each

other once it's official ( 'wife,' for instance, is off the table: neither of us has evolved enough, I guess, to reclaim that word ) , and where

do we register ( Galyan's Sporting Goods? Women and Children First Bookstore? Baker's Square? ) —seem too overwhelming to

tackle just yet. So I thought I'd start with something I know a thing or two about: writing. Specifically: the wedding announcement.

Looking for a model for our potential announcement, I consulted The New York Times wedding section, which now also includes

announcements of commitment ceremonies between same-sex couples.

I discovered that even without the same legal rights yet, queers are exactly the same as their hetero counterparts, at least when it

comes to the Times' wedding announcements, which are really all pretty much about money: how much money they come from, how

much money they're going to make, how much money they've spent, and so on. This is just not going to work for Kathy and me. For

instance, consider each couple in the Times—all of whom are posed as though they are conjoined twins attached at the head—and

tally up the alums of Vassar, Harvard, Pepperdine, and so on, then compare with Kathy and me: Northern Illinois University and

University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. Yup: state-school girls. For every law or medical degree, for every MBA, compare, respectively,

our English degree and MFA in fiction writing.

Oh, yeah—we are due for some big money, honey! And finally, assessing whence they came, look at the long list of parents who

are physicians, CEOs, scientists, or professors; for our part, we can throw into the pot a clerk typist, legal secretary, linotype machinist,

and cook for the county jail. Kathy's dad did, I'll be honest, give up being a cop to become a stockbroker, but I'm not sure that's

enough for us to squeak by. It ain't like we've got McJobs, but we sure ain't Vanderbilts or Rockefellers either.

I guess this listing of pedigree—much like for our former racing dogs—does tell you something about these folks ( like they're

probably not scraping mold off the cheddar before putting it on their burger ) , but I don't think what it tells you is anything that really

matters. Not like that she has a bell-chime of a laugh, or that she is constantly breaking out in song, or how sweet she looks when

lying eye to eye with the dog on the floor, or that she has a thatch of Opie hair at the back of her head when her hair's cut too short.

No doubt these wedding announcements have some sort of very telling legal/economic/historic reason for containing the

information they do, which, though now outdated, is still observed. But basically, since what it all boils down to now is bragging, I

figure why not brag about things that actually matter to us? So ours might start something like: Kathy Forde, who made a great pass

along the boards in her last hockey game, will be married to Yvonne Zipter, who found just the right word for her most recent poem ... .

E-mail yz@press.uchicago.edu .

© 2003 by Yvonne Zipter.


This article shared 3370 times since Wed Jul 30, 2003
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Out and Aging
Presented By

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

VIEWS Mike Johnson: The smiling face of Christian tyranny 2024-02-14
- Mike Johnson wants to rewrite the constitution to make the United States a Christian nation. James Michael Johnson, Republican from Louisiana's Fourth District, is the 56th speaker of the United States House of Representatives. He was ...


Gay News

VIEWS Parents, not legislators, should be making decisions about medical options for children 2024-02-06
By Jeffery M. Leving - No matter the medical issue, when it comes to kids, Ohio Governor Mike DeWine said something last December that every lawmaker in the country should realize when it comes to medical decisions for children. "Were House ...


Gay News

SHOWBIZ Sundance items, Green Day, 'Wednesday,' Queerties, 'The Wiz' 2024-01-26
- At the Sundance Film Festival, Jodie Foster told Variety that the $1.4-billion success of Barbie helps confirm that Hollywood no longer views women directors as too much of a risk. She said, "With a big success ...


Gay News

VIEWS Is the Pope Catholic? Francis faces opposition in steps toward LGBTQ+ inclusivity 2024-01-02
- The recent change in Vatican policy allowing priests to bless same-gender couples has provoked an unprecedented backlash against Pope Francis and his openness to LGBTQ+ people—a backlash that some fear might devolve into a schism in ...


Gay News

Bring Chicago Home: Guess who's saying no again 2023-12-04
Commentary by Bob Palmer and Mark Swartz - Chicago is ushering in an era of change with a new progressive mayor with a vision to invest in communities long ignored and a significant increase in like-minded city council members. We are excited to see ...


Gay News

Pope Francis's community of transwomen 2023-11-28
- It's a rare opportunity to meet the pope. It's even rarer if you're a transgender Catholic. However, on Nov. 19, in Torvaianica, Italy, a community of transwomen, many of them sex workers, were welcomed and seated ...


Gay News

Banning the Banning of Books: Illinois and California lead the way 2023-10-26
- In June, at the Harold Washington Library in Chicago, Governor JB Pritzker signed legislation banning book bans in Illinois public libraries. This legislation, initiated by Illinois Secretary of State Alexi Giannoulias, passed the Illinois House and ...


Gay News

OPINION Renewing state's Invest in Kids program is investing in anti-LGBTQ+ hate 2023-10-23
- In February 2020, Bishop Thomas Paprocki of the Diocese of Springfield warned transgender students in the Diocese's educational system that they "may be expelled from the school" if they live their lives authentically. Lansing Christian School ...


Gay News

Gilbert Baker Foundation reacts to death of shop owner who flew the rainbow flag 2023-08-29
--From a press release - In response to the murder of Laura Ann Carleton over flying the Rainbow flag in her shop in California, the Gilbert Baker Foundation released the statement below. Facebook refused to post the statement as it did not "...meet their standards." ...


Gay News

VIEWPOINT U.S. higher education under siege; freedom of inquiry and speech at risk 2023-07-03
- The Covid pandemic threw a harsh spotlight on higher education in America, exposing forces eating away at the foundations of college and university learning, calling into question the traditional purposes of such education in our post-modern, ...


Gay News

Guest essay by Florida mom Nicole Pejovich: What's Happening to Florida's Public Schools? 2023-06-19
Related video below - A queer Florida parent answers questions about recent laws, how Floridians are coping, and how you can help Books pulled from school library shelves by the dozens. All evidence of inclusivity stripped from classrooms. The politically ...


Gay News

VIEWPOINT For divorced parents, transgender children's health can present tricky dilemmas 2023-06-12
- Over the last few months, issues impacting individuals who identify as transgender and non-binary are getting a lot of attention in the media and among some politicians. Sadly, because it's become a political issue; a lot ...


Gay News

VIEWPOINT War in the 21st Century: mercenaries, private military companies, private armies 2023-05-20
- In 2022, $407 billion of the Pentagon budget—representing half of that year's funding —were obligated to private contractors, of which a significant number were Private Military Companies (PMCs) involved in ...


Gay News

VIEWPOINT Telling the world about my mental health disorders 2023-05-04
- Over the years, coming out as a lesbian hasn't been that hard for me—because I was always too busy hiding something else. Confessing queerness can be a breeze compared to revealing mental illness. But I decline ...


Gay News

VIEWPOINT German bishops endorse blessings of same-sex couples: Ancient rituals retturn 2023-03-31
- This March, at a national meeting of leaders of the German Catholic Church (referred to as a synod), a document titled Blessing Ceremonies for Couples who Love Each Other" received overwhelming support: 176 votes in favor, ...


 


Copyright © 2024 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.

All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.