The recent wave of national "Black Lives Matter" protests has reignited a much-needed conversation about allyship.
In the world of social justice, an ally is a member of a dominant group who stands in support of a marginalized group. That can include white people fighting against racial profiling, straight people supporting gay marriage, men taking up feminist causes, cis people campaigning for trans rights, and nondisabled people striving to make the world a more welcoming place for those with disabilities.
Yet figuring out the right way to ally can be a difficult and awkward process. It's one I think about a lot, both as a white, straight person fighting for racial and LGBT equality, and as a woman seeking help from male feminists. With the caveat that I'm still learning, and probably always will be, here are five steps to becoming a better ally.
1. ) Listen: This can be a tricky skill to learn. It's human nature to form an opinion and to share it. But just as you wouldn't stand up in the middle of a lecture on astrophysics to share your thoughts on the topic, you shouldn't rush to comment on the lived-experiences of others. Instead, seek out diverse voices—both in person and online—and listen with an open mind to what they have to say. When you hear that Black people from all walks of life have similar stories of police harassment, it's easy to see this as a larger systemic issue. Social media platforms like Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook allow users to curate the voices they read each day; the more diverse that stream of voices, the better.
2. ) Develop empathy: Unlike sympathy, which is sorrow for someone else's troubles, empathy is a genuine understanding of someone else's feelings. It's important that allies do the mental work to imagine walking in a set of less-privileged shoes. That may not come naturally, as we're socialized to align with those who are similar to us. Thankfully, listening ( i.e. step No. 1 ) is the best way to cultivate empathy. Remind yourself that injustices against one group are injustices against humanity as a whole.
3. ) Get the vocabulary: Social justice activists have dedicated their lives to writing, speaking, and campaigning for equality. Along the way they've established a specific set of vocabulary. So while in a general sense the word "privilege" might have connotations of wealth or luxury, in a social justice context it refers to a societal structure that gives subtle benefits to people of the dominate gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. Rather than expect activists to explain this vocabulary each time they use it, allies should dedicate time to brushing up on the basics. Once again, the Internet is the ideal place to start this research.
4. ) Relearn history: And brushing up on the basics applies not just to vocabulary but to history as well. Our mainstream history centers first and foremost on straight, white men with only a few women, people of color, and LGBT figures making it into the history books. School children will likely learn about the 1918 Spanish flu epidemic but not the AIDS crisis and subsequent activism of the 1980s. Even worse, the history of marginalized peoples is often glossed over, sugarcoated, or streamlined. While Martin Luther King Jr. is held up as a beacon of interracial cooperation, in his seminal essay, Letter from a Birmingham Jail, he names passive white moderates as one of the biggest stumbling blocks to racial equality. A strong understanding of the history of the fight against oppression is vital to understanding the methods and goals of contemporary activism. Let go of your preconceived notions about history and think of your mind as a blank slate ready to be re-educated.
5. ) Get involved but don't make it about you: This may be the most important and most difficult step. Allyship is not just about support, but also about action. It's crucial that allies get actively involved because their presence sends a signal that these are not one-group issues. From voting in an election to voting with your dollars, from attending a town hall meeting to attending a protest, that support can be expressed in a whole bunch of different ways. However, it's important that allies realize their goal is to lift up marginalized voices, not to usurp them. Don't think of yourself as the one giving the speech, but as the microphone that amplifies the speaker's voice.
Caroline Siede is a freelance writer living in Chicago where the cold never bothers her anyway. You can also find her work on The A.V. Club and Boing Boing.
