When I was younger and in art class I had to have the 64 count of crayons that included the sharpener on the back.
I used to mix the different colors and was fascinated that mixing the different colors created even more colors. The crayons were always placed in the box in a certain order and as I took them out to use them I never remembered how they went back in the box. I had to tilt the box to make room and placed the crayons back in no certain order. As I got older, I have stopped using crayons, but I did not stop seeing the world in color. In fact, as a child, I was taught to sing about the majesty of America and America the beautiful. However, while I grew up in the beauty of the countryside- the people living in the countryside had to be painted in using only the white crayon. When I traveled and went to college, I started seeing more of the crayons needing to be used to paint the people, such as brown, beige, black and some colors mixed with white to create all the shades in between.
When I went to the conservative church as a teenager, I heard the sermon about God did not want people to mix and that is why he had people speak with different languages so they could not communicate with each other and the people were sent to different parts of the Earth as they were not meant to be together as ordered by God. Sounds like God promotes segregation.
I went to school with everyone colored with the white crayon. Everyone was from small towns. Some students hated fellow classmates because of their weight, their clothes, their perceived weakness, their sexual orientation, their perceived lack of intelligence and/or athleticism. Later, as I looked back and the internet research on the area I grew up, the KKK had an influence and very active to make sure the white crayon was the only one used to paint the people living in the countryside. That hate I fear by my neighbors was real and once children learned the lessons by parents was natural to hate and be rewarded.
I did not have that hate lesson in my childhood home as Christ said to love thy neighbor was the lesson by my parents. My alternative side and view of the world and my imagination lead me to experience the world as a creation of God- My God did not hate. Being gay I was told that he did hate me- I thought again that God does not make mistakes and that I know. Only the white crayon was used in my yearbook pictures.
Black lives matter. Being married to TJ and part of an interracial marriage, I have experienced the difference on how we each are treated differently. For example; I have lived in my neighborhood for 20 years and walk the dog and never had a police officer question if I belonged here. TJ also has lived in the neighborhood for a long time and he knows more neighbors than I do; he gets stopped while walking the dog and questioned by a police officerand a neighbor came to his defense. White people do not get this treatment; it was a Black profiling thing.
TJ went to his bank one morning and did not dress up professionally and was treated with suspicion and followed by security. I can get up and go with an old T-shirt on and no one follows me and treats me the differentit is a Black profiling thing.
We, as white partners, sometimes miss the moments of being treated different and we need to be more aware. I cannot walk in a Black person's shoes and say I understand the strugglebut I understand there is a struggle and a lack of trust of white people. I hear the comments by those attending a Trump meeting and cheering and hitting and dragging Black people out of the room. Trump cheering on the white supremacy and later when asked why so many white extremists follow him- he states he does not know. People who hate should not be ignored and the behavior should be condemned.
When the news shows Black men shot and killed by white police officers again and again and again and the police officers are never convicted for the murder… that creates a lack of trust and with good reason. Treyvon Martin walking down the sidewalk, a young teenager heading home eating skittles, shot and killed by a white man- a Black boy is dead and the white man is found innocent. We as white people have to ask ourselves what would have happened if the scenario was reversed with a Black man shooting a white teenager in the suburbs?
We all in our hearts know that Black lives and white lives are not treated the same in the justice system.
I have lived as a white man to be 56 years old and may have been pulled over for a traffic ticketbut I never felt I was going to be shot or dragged to the ground and stomped on. Black people do not have that comfort in being treated with respect and that their life is important. Our hate messages and our justice systems have sent a message that we do not value Black lives and, for too longwithout white people expressing their disgustsilence by us gives our approval.
I have worked with police officers, of all races, as security standing by my side in my business making sure my staff and I were protected. I respect that they had families and worked two jobs to send their kids to school and had problems like all of us. They were trying to make a living. At the business, we had close to 1 million guests of all races and backgrounds come through the door and no one was shot. All guests were greeted and treated with respect.
It is not acceptable for Black people to be shot for a broken taillight or selling CDs outside a convenience store or walking down the street, as white people, do not tolerate that our family members are shot and killed and we need to speak up for our Black brothers and sisters that their lives matter. Our city officials need to hear it and feel the outrage that they are not holding the people they appoint accountable and not providing ongoing training and monitoring of police officers.