My daughter, Braiden and I just got back from the Illinois state Capital in Springfield. We spent two days walking around and visiting with House members and explaining to them why the marriage equality bill (SB 10) is so important to our family. We felt that it was very important for them to see the faces of families that will be directly affected by the passage of this bill.
I personally wanted them to understand that there are thousands of children that are currently living in homes throughout our state who's parents are not allowed to get legally married. These families are denied the ability to provide the most basic safety nets and securities that all other couples in Illinois take for granted.
I wanted the House members to understand how unfair it is to deny our children the right to having their parents legally married. Aside from the legal protections that marriage provides to a family, there is also the secure feeling a child has when he or she knows their parents are married. It conveys to the child a deep commitment to one another that is recognized by everyone around them. It makes them feel more safe and secure. Children from foster and adoptive families especially need that additional feeling of security.
I have to say that I was touched and inspired at how hard Braiden worked on trying to secure passage of this bill. She had face to face talks with 20 House members. She passed out her letter to another 10 House members' assistants, making them promise her they would give her letter to the Rep when he or she returned.
Like many of the 20 members she sat down with, Rep. Arroyo listened to Braiden's story. We had a good visit with him, but he told her he could not vote for the passage of this bill. Braiden looked him in the eyes and said "Why not??" He explained that he has two churches in his area that are pressuring him not to vote yes on the bill. She then responded to him that her church "supports it". Even with the rejection from Rep. Arroyo, she was kind and determined. She left his office and went right on to the next.
Many of the House members hugged her (some, she said, really hugged her" too hard"). Many were touched by her story and her dedication to the issue. It is touching to see a 10-year-old just asking for the right to have her two dads be married. We told the house members about her and her brother's journey through the Illinois foster care system and into our home. We explained to the Representatives that under current law, our families are treated like second class citizens. And as Lee's Father told us, "our love is not second class". Rep. Darlene Senger was another Rep who told Braiden "no". Although she couldn't come up with a good explanation that a 10-year-old would buy. I realized then that if you cant explain your position well enough that a 10-year-old will think it is fair, then maybe it's just not fair.
We need to keep the pressure on our elected officials. We reminded them of how marriage has evolved over time and that not too long ago, people were fighting for the right to marry outside of their race. Government's job is not to support one particular religion's beliefs. It is to protect and treat all citizens fairly and equally.
She also explained to them that she was earning her "inside government" Girl Scout badge. Many of the House members gave her stuffed animals so by the end of the day, she could be seen walking down the hall with an arm full of stuffed animals that she had collected from her many visits. She said that she felt everyone was nice, and although she was tired, she had a lot of fun. She really loved Secretary of State Jessie White, who kept calling her his "sweetie pie". State Treasurer Dan Rutherfod and his staff were very kind to her as well. It was a wonderful hands-on lesson of how a bill can become law. Her Social Studies teacher should be proud of her work.
The visit left us with the knowledge of how much more work we need to do on this issue of marriage equality. We need to get our friends, neighbors and family members to call on our behaves. This is the time for LGBT families to drive to Springfield and put a face to this issue. Personal stories mean so much more than a simple, angry phone call.
We had a talk on the way back home about how she would feel if this bill doesn't pass. Her response was, it will pass because its the right thing to do. When we got home, she sat down and wrote thank-you letters to as many of the Reps that she met with as she could. I told her to rest and not worry about the thank you notes, but she responded that "this has to be done". I will mail out some of her thank you notes today and keep my fingers crossed that Braiden'shard work pays off. I saw a different side of my daughter on this trip. I saw a confident, young woman, who is overcoming her shyness to make a real difference in the world. She is my new hero.
I hope she gets her wish to have her Dads get married.
See related story, Mixed report in Springfield, here: www.windycitymediagroup.com/lgbt/Mixed-reports-in-Springfield-as-marriage-push-intensifies/41964.html .
