by Judy Rickard, $20; Findhorn Press; 271 pages
REVIEW BY SALLY PARSONS
Torn Apart is the story of Judy and Karin, and 18 other gay and lesbian couples, and how U.S. immigration policy has disrupted their lives together. To set the stage, take two couples' plight: (from the foreword) Elizabeth's love for a Brazilian who traveled back and forth between South America and the States to be with her. U.S. Immigration authorities stepped in and deportation was imminent. The couple resolved their dilemma by obtaining a fiancé visa and getting married. By contrast, Judy Rickard and her love Karin are now living 6,000 miles apart (Judy in the States and Karin in her native Scotland) and don't know when they can be together again. U.S. Immigration has denied Karin a visa.
These two couples are binational. The difference is, Elizabeth (that's Elizabeth Gilbert of Eat, Pray, Love fame) and her love are a hetero couple while Judy and Karin are lesbians. Same-sex binational couples do not have the legal means to stay together in this country that hetero couples do. The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) legally defines marriage as only between a man and a woman, so although same-sex marriage is legal in several states, federal law trumps state law.
There are two ways to read this book. Many will be drawn in by the inspiring, often sad, even infuriating, tales of same-sex couples caught in the machinations of antiquated U.S. immigration policy. Some readers will stop there. Others, angered or stirred by these stories, will wish to take action to redress the plight of the families depicted in Torn Apart. These readers will find the back of the book usefulchockfull of ideas for how to help, resource groups and websites, articles, blogs, books, DVDs, Facebook pages, and more, as well as descriptions of legislative proposals and definitions. Either way, the book satisfies.
Often prominent on nightly TV news reports are the images of immigration agents breaking down doors to detain and deport illegal immigrants. Much of that kind of gut-wrenching drama occurred in Jay and Shirley's story. Shirley was dragged from their home in handcuffs by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agentsJay and their two teenage sons left behind in shock at what was happening to them. (Search "Shirley Tan" on YouTube to meet this family.)
As Shirley stated, "I have a partner who is a U.S. citizen, and two beautiful children who are also U.S. citizens, but not one of them can petition for me to remain in the United States with them." Shirley is still in the States due to a private bill from Senator Feinstein of California that permitted her to stay until the end of the 111th Congress. She could be deported at any time.
Thomas and Tony are contemporary nomads. Together since 1993, they spent six years in the States until forced to leave (Thomas tried the green card lottery 15 times with no luck). They then lived four years in Germany, Thomas's home country. Tony was not comfortable there so the couple hit the road. They have traveled together in 55 countries to date. But what they want is to be able to live in California with family and friends, an option not available to them at present. (At the time this review was written, Thomas and Tony were in Thailand. You can follow their adventures at contemporarynomad.com .)
Some 36,000 same-sex binational couples in this country have been adversely affected by our antiquated immigration laws. Half of these couples are raising children. The Uniting American Families Act would fix this dilemma but, so far, efforts to pass it into law have failed. Many organizations are actively pushing for its inclusion in the next immigration reform legislation. (For a recent account of what's going on with legislative reform, Google "dream and DOMA.")
For Judy Rickard to step forward with her story is a brave and risky act as it brings hers and Karin's situation into the spotlight. ICE can make it impossible for Karin to return to the States. Rickard states they are willing to take the risk to help the cause. They will relocate if necessary to be together. It seems grossly unfair that they may need to take such a step.
If nothing else, read this book to inform yourself about this important issue. You will find it a compelling wake-up call. Royalties from the sale of Torn Apart will go to support the work of three non-profit action groups (Immigration Equality, Love Exiles, and Out4Immigration).