Playwright: Marki Shalloe
At: Stockyards Theatre Project at the Majestic Midway, 5722 W. 63rd St.
Phone: (773) 788-1035; $18
Runs through: Oct. 16
Mary Read and Anne Bonney are the superstars, but Grace O'Malley was their peer in piracy. This daughter of an Irish chieftain took command of her father's forts and fleets upon his death and proceeded to loot English ships until 1576, when her second husband was knighted by the Queen's viceroy, whereupon Grace offered his benefactor the use of her ships for the war against Spain. Her political connections served her well, eventually gaining her a royal pardon with a retirement pension.
Yes, the saga of Bald Grace—called so for her scarred forehead, a legacy of driving eagles from the family's sheep—has all the makings of a yarn steeped in feminine empowerment. Unfortunately, Marki Shalloe's Bald Grace, Pirate Queen isn't that yarn, being instead a succession of sketch-length episodes depicting her subject as a girly-girl right out of mid-1930s Hollywood, down to the obligatory romp in which the fierce warrioress is overpowered, screaming and struggling, by an amorous young hunk half her size. The fear and respect this ruthless virago engendered on the high seas is described at length, but never shown—we watch her fire blunderbusses in defense of her castle, but this activity is merely background for a birds-and-bees chat with her niece.
Reducing powerful women of history to TV-sitcom stereotypes—did I mention Grace swapping bawdy sisterspeak with Her Royal Highness?—only diminishes their significance. Further impeding our efforts to take Shalloe's play seriously are its limited vocabulary (could the author find no synonyms for 'plunder'?) and its unprecedented divergences in narrative style, as in a cute but anomalous scene where Grace interrogates an adversary in ballad rhythms, employing his name for the refrain, as they perform a martial waltz.
In a trouser role as the Lord O'Malley, Elizabeth Styles displays correct stance (but is ultimately betrayed by her voice), while Mary Jo Bolduc lends dignity to Good Queen Bess. Dawn 'Sam' Alden, one of Chicago's foremost fight directors, contributes some perfunctory combat. But when our heroine's predominant activity during the course of her day consists of putting on and taking off her shoes, there is little to float this sinking ship.
