With the recent ruling legalizing same-sex marriage in Iowa, one couple acts as positive role models while promoting gay advocacy to others. Pictured: Dr. Gary Swenson ( left ) and Dean Genth. Photo courtesy of Matthew H. Smith.
Same-sex marriage is legalized in Iowa April 3
Dr. Gary Swenson and his partner, Dean Genth, sit hand-in-hand at their home in Mason City, Iowa. They appear curiously modest. Swenson has a warm twinkle in his bright blue eyes, a smile permanently affixed on his lips. On his wrist is a watch with a rainbow on the faceplate. Genth seems a little bit more serious, always moving or fidgeting, knowing he has millions of things to do. Yet he never leaves Swenson's side. The past month has been an exciting one for them. Inside, they are beaming. And for good reason. Swenson and Genth have just finalized the plans. They're getting married. After six years and a commitment ceremony, they're finally tying the knot the "old-fashioned" way. The date is set for May 31. The Music Man Square is booked. And the Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus is even scheduled for a special performance. In short—it's going to be fabulous.
"There we were, never dreaming we'd ever live in Iowa," Genth said. "And now we're living in one of the greatest states in the country for a gay couple."
None of this, of course, would be possible without the Iowa Supreme Court's unanimous ruling on April 3, becoming the third state to legalize same-sex marriage. Now gay couples all over the state are in a fuss over wedding plans—and all over the country, for that matter, since you don't have to be a resident of Iowa to get married there, gay or straight. It seems Iowa has also paved the road for other states as well. Vermont has gone on to legalize same-sex marriage, too, a decision that will be effective in September. Swenson, 47, and Genth, 59, simply consider themselves part of the hubbub that surrounds these historical decisions.
"There is this joy in having society affirm that we are 'fully human' and allowed to have the same inalienable rights regarding marriage as every other Iowan," Genth said.
The "reluctant activists"
The thing is, Swenson and Genth helped make this happen. The couple was at the heart of Iowa's same-sex marriage movement. They became the leaders of the steering committee for One Iowa, the state's largest LGBT advocacy program. They helped organize fundraisers, host house parties and assemble support networks throughout the Hawkeye State.
But none of it—the organizing, the rallies, the marches—was ever part of a bigger plan. Mostly, Swenson and Genth simply wanted to "fit in" and live their lives like any other couple. They didn't want to be front-page material of the local newspapers or to be the gay poster boys for Iowa. But that's exactly what they became. "You can call me the reluctant activist," Swenson said. "Because I really was. But once you start, there's no going back."
In 2004, the First Presbyterian Church in Mason City, Iowa, urged Swenson and Genth to start a local PFLAG ( Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays ) chapter for North Iowa. Both were somewhat hesitant. By this time, Swenson's career as a radiologist had fully blossomed and Genth had grown quite content being a "house husband," as he refers to it.
"We felt that it would be better established by a parent, as is the history of PFLAG," Swenson said. "But it became apparent that if we didn't do it, it wouldn't happen."
The decision for them to start a new chapter of PFLAG would be met with local media attention. Mason City's Globe Gazette newspaper was abruptly interested in the couple and soon Swenson and Genth's picture was on a three-quarter spread. Swenson said he was horrified. He feared what his partners at work would have to say about it. While they all knew he was gay, now the entire Mason City population was about to find out.
"We became what we say now are the North Iowa Poster Boys for same-sex relationships," Genth said.
Julie Platt and her husband have been involved with PFLAG-North Iowa since its inauguration, where Platt is Secretary-Treasurer. Platt said she sees Swenson and Genth's relationship as being positive and enlightening for others. "They're so open publicly," she said. "I think the community looks at them as positive, stable and vibrant."
The response to PFLAG was greater than either Swenson or Genth could have imagined. They were warned to only expect five or so members at the first meeting, and then maybe 10 more people would join after the first year. But their opening meeting brought in a whopping 35 people—a large number by any expectations. The North Iowa organization is still running stronger than ever with 250 families on its mailing list.
Role models
The biggest reason Swenson and Genth give for waiting so long to come out of the closet was the times they were raised in. Both from conservative religious backgrounds, "being gay" was not the typical suppertime chatter. Both said that having lacked any positive gay role models during their youth, it only further enamored them with the impression that homosexuality was somehow wrong.
"We grew up in a time where it just wasn't heard of," Swenson said. "Our concept of gay men who lived out and openly were starving waiters in San Francisco who had AIDS."
Genth, who is 12 years Swenson's senior, graduated high school when it was still illegal for an interracial couple to marry. "For me growing up, there were no positive role models for same-sex relationships," Genth said. "Gay rights weren't even on the national scene."
Swenson and Genth have since made strides of their own to promote themselves as good role models, particularly for the new generation of LGBT. Alex Dlouhy, a PFLAG-North Iowa member, came out when he was 15. He's now 17 and has known Swenson and Genth for two years now. Dlouhy's father, who works with Swenson, introduced them. Dlouhy said he looks up to them not only as activists, but even as surrogate father figures.
"They are great role models for anyone who wants to become an activist," Dlouhy said. "They are extremely active and are always at equality meetings and contribute a lot to the community."
Read the entire profile of Dr. Gary Swenson and Dean Genth online at www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com .