The Grapevine - 2048 - Gay Lesbian Bi Trans News

"John Paulk was a poster boy for the ex-gay movement. ... In 1998 he and his wife, an 'ex-lesbian,' appeared on Newsweek's cover to illustrate a story about the controversial movement, which is disavowed by psychiatric organizations. Paulk gives hundreds of lectures a year, telling how he turned away from his life as a drag queen when he embraced Christ. Last week he had to explain why he was found in a Washington, D.C., gay bar, drink in hand. ... 'I went in there looking for a bathroom,' he said. 'It was poor judgment, [ but ] that does not mean I am going back to homosexuality.' He could not explain why he chose the dark gay bar over the brightly lit coffee shop across the street." — Newsweek Oct. 2.

"Richard Hatch survived 39 days on a tropical island to win a million dollars, but he needs a talent agency, a management firm and a publicist to help him handle his latest challenge—life in the United States." — AP.

"'So, what's with all those lesbians marrying men?' the father of a gay son asked me at the recent annual meeting of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. He had been talking with a group of parents who were trying to make sense of why their out and proud queer kids had suddenly started dating people of the opposite sex." — Utne Reader Aug. 31.

"They don't want to fit into any boxes—not gay, straight, lesbian, or bisexual ones. They want to be free to come out as who they are, when they are ready to decide that, and then they want to be free to change their minds." — Bret Johnson on the new next generation of GLBTQs, to Utne Reader.

"'It's not fair to have one year of hot sex and then say that's enough for a lifetime,' said Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the University of Washington sociologist who coined the phrase lesbian bed death. 'It's false advertising and you shouldn't put up with it. You have to find out what is causing the problem. Is she mad at you? Is she depressed? You can talk through the first problem and get medication and help for the second. If neither is true, would she be willing to go to a doctor and see if she has a hormonal imbalance? This can be a cause of low sexual desire and it can be helped.'" — From Dan Savage's "Savage Love" column.

"I predicted Anne and Ellen wouldn't last, and for my trouble I got hate mail from thousands of angry lesbians all over the world. These angry lesbians wanted to know why I was so cynical. ... I wasn't being bitchy, of course, just honest. Anne and Ellen were running around the country acting like a couple of spot-faced teenagers. They couldn't keep their hands off each other, and wouldn't shut up about their beautiful relationship, they had been together about a month before they bought a house and exchanged rings. Are there any bigger signs that a relationship is doomed? Instead of cheering them on, as so many gays and lesbians did, we should've told Anne and Ellen to calm down and shut up. Anne and Ellen on Oprah declaring their undying love didn't make them lesbo-love heros, it made them love-struck morons. No one takes heterosexuals who get married during the infatuation stage seriously ( will anyone be shocked when Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie go boom? ) , so why should anyone take gays and lesbians seriously when we make reckless, premature, public commitments? ... I've got a fresh news hook to hang my I-told-you-so on: Rocker Melissa Etheridge and her girlfriend Julie Cypher just announced that—oh, the humanity!—they're breaking up, too. Etheridge and Cypher have been together for 12 years and have two children—a three year-old daughter and a one year-old son—fathered by rock legend David Crosby. Earlier this year, I watched Melissa and Julie on Larry King Live swear that, yes indeed, they would be together forever. Jesus Christ, is every high profile lesbian couple going to break up? Who's next? Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner? Sandra Bernhard and Janet Reno? Hell, let's dig up Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas and break them up, too. Listen, lesbians, relationships are delicate, perishable things, and no relationship should be used to make points about the visibility, validity, or stability of gay and lesbian luv. The more public a spectacle you make of your relationship—the more times you go on Oprah or Larry King—the worse you'll feel if your relationship should fall apart, as so many do. Ask any straight person who has gone through a divorce: ... So if there's any chance, however slight, that your relationship will end in the next five years, DO NOT go on Oprah, hold hands, and blather on about Spending The Rest of Your Life Together. DO NOT go on Larry King blather on about Spending The Rest of Your Life Together. And DO NOT let David Crosby get you pregnant. Twice." — Dan Savage, letters@savagelove.net .

"No matter what you've heard, I love Ellen DeGeneres. She is a genius. ... She is a marvelous woman so dear to my life and I love her." — Anne Heche, accepting a Women In Film award Sept. 8.

"Oh please." — Anne Heche asked by TV's Inside Edition Sept. 8 if she is dating anyone since her breakup with Ellen DeGeneres.

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985