by rick karlin
Mark Bennett knows how people in television sitcoms live. He's made a career out of it. Well, a part—time career at least. Bennett is a mail carrier in Beverly Hills. He has had a life—long obsession with the lives of television families, so his assignment is only fitting, delivering mail to the very people about whom he fantasized growing up.
Bennett's two books detail the lives of sitcom families. His first book, TV Sets, featured his artistic creations, floor plans of the homes of the sitcom families with whom we all grew up. From the simple studio apartment layout of Mary Tyler Moore in Minneapolis to the California home of the Brady's, every detail is there in blue on blue. There are even community plans from the island known as Gilligan's to the town known as Mayberry.
Bennett's first book garnered much attention, so it should come as a surprise that his publisher offered him a chance to create a second publication. To his credit, Bennett passed on doing an extension of his first concept and, instead, went with a completely different approach. In his newest book, How to Live a Sitcom Life: A Guide to TV Etiquette, Bennett offers tremendous insights into the barriers to emotional well being in a humorous way. His basic tenet is, "If you live your life fully, you won't have time to fixate on old television shows."
We sat down with the openly gay author and discussed the book and his outlook on life. He was refreshingly open about exactly his reactions to how the publishing world works, growing up different and how television can act as a crutch in emotional development.
Karlin: Your floor plans of sitcom homes are what first garnered you national attention. What made you decide to do them?
Bennett: It started when I was a little kid. I was the middle child, my parents were both very busy, they both had two jobs. Television became the fear barrier. If my life became really painful, or if I was really lonely, I could always check in with these families, the Cleavers, the Cunninghams, Danny Thomas. All those people that became my families. I thought if I drew their houses I could become part of them. If I learned their street addresses and their phone numbers, I could always check in with them and I'd always know where they were.
Karlin: Your day job is as a mail carrier in Beverly Hills, have you ever met the "residents" of the homes you've created?
Bennett: I got to meet Alan Young who was Wilbur Post on Mr. Ed, and Marion Ross, who was the mother on Happy Days. The people on my route passed my ( first ) book around the neighborhood. They've become like family to me.
Karlin: Which sitcom home would you like to live in?
Bennett: As a kid it was the Cleavers', then it became Rob & Laura Petrie's, then I wanted to be a castaway on Gilligan's Island and then Mary Richards' first apartment.
Karlin: How much of your new book, How to Live A Sitcom Life, is tongue in cheek?
Bennett: All of the anecdotes I put in there, some are funny, at least I hope they are, but there's a lot of stuff in there that is painful. We've all had painful experiences growing up and I hope that people can identify with that. It was very therapeutic, for me, getting it all out. Then my publisher brought in an editor to jazz it up and it was really not my words. They made these cute little suggestions and quizzes around this pain I shared. I just thought that was inappropriate. Finally I just said, "Do what you want." I figured if it fails and there's those cute little quizzes in there, then I don't know if ( it failed ) because it was them or me. ( pauses and sighs ) And, that's okay.
Karlin: Which sitcom most resembles your life when you were growing up?
Bennett: Mama's Family with Vicky Lawrence. A lot of yelling, a lot of screaming. There was a lot of anger and hatred that was all glossed over with religion and gospel music and a real dedication to their church and church friends. I just hated it. Growing up I always wanted to be Donald Hollinger to Ann Marie, and I tried that for many years but it didn't really work out.
Karlin: Perhaps you really wanted to be Ann Marie.
Bennett: Exactly. And you can't be Donald Hollinger if you really want to be Ann Marie, it really doesn't work. And, that's what I think is so funny about this whole thing. Now that I've come clean about the whole thing, the book has been very helpful to me. I try not to give way too much of me, but if I don't give what is in my heart, the book is not true.
Karlin: Let's imagine that they've decided to convert your adult life into a sitcom. Give me the pitch you'd deliver to a producer.
Bennett: Middle—aged gay man hits it big with art career, while living in a $600—a—month apartment and working a day job as a mailman.
Karlin: Who would be cast as your love interest?
Bennett: I was always so envious of Mary Richards, cause she got to date John Saxon. I guess I'd have to move forward to today's crop of celebrities. That would be a hard choice.
Karlin: Maybe you could be like Mary and date lots of them until you find the right one.
Bennett: Or never find the right one. Mary was on nine seasons and she never found the right one.
Karlin: Who would play your wacky neighbor?
Bennett: I'd want it to be Marcia Wallace from The Bob Newhart Show. I don't know if she's even working anymore. I never watchTV now because of the addictive quality television had on me for many years. I had to go cold turkey several years ago. It was kind of crazy, and that's what I based my ( second ) book on. I also liked the non—reality of the earlier shows, and that's why the new ones don't appeal to me. I came to realize that you can't be living your own sitcom life if you're watching someone else's.
Now, I get it, I don't need these TV families as much, I have my own cast, my friends.
