There is something about those who choose a life of performance, whether that be on the stage or on the page, that reflects an inner vulnerability. When we act, we seek approval, perhaps because some times we are not fully aware of just how awesome we may be.
The last time I spoke to Tajma Hall was not too long ago at The Baton. The time before that was at one of her many shows ( I can't recall which at the moment ). At the previous show, many girls performed and when it came time to make the final cut as to who made it in the magazine, for one reason or another, I was not able to include a photo of Taj. Perhaps I was thinking that she had made it in so many times in the past, that she wouldn't mind missing this one. It's only a little gay rag anyhow. I figured she was far too fabulous to care.
When I posted the photo spread online as I do with every issue, Tajma had commented on the post, "No photos of me :( "
It was certainly no personal slight at all and I set out to make good for any for perception of slight she may have gotten. I commented back, "I promise you a close-up next time I see you."
So a few weeks later I did see her at The Baton. She was not in show face at the time and had had a long day, so when I insisted on that close-up to show her love, she politely declined and I promised her that the next time, she would get the close-up I promised.
Shortly after this, Tajma's health problems began to escalate and her absence from the scene became palpable. We all hoped and prayed for a speedy recovery, but as cruel fate would have it, I never got to take that stunning final close-up of Tajma Hall.
So I hope you get Nightspots in Heaven, girl. And I hope these words and the facing page turn that Facebook emoticon frown upside down. I miss you.