There are clear universal truths about the Thai experience. Thailand is hotvery hot. In Thailand, it's easy to get used to paying just $1 to a street vendor for the best pad Thai ever. The massages are intense, incredibly inexpensive and never get old. And above all, the country is one of the world's friendliest placesproudly demonstrating its nickname "The Land of Smiles" everywhere you go.
A first-timer to Thailand will find a surprisingly Westernized experience, albeit with some authentically non-Western flair. It is a proud 95 percent—Buddhist nation, making it gloriously laid-back and extraordinarily liberal about the LGBT crowdas well as vibrant, colorful and welcoming.
Roughly the same size as California, Thailand is famous for its largest citiesBangkok on the southern edge and Chiang Mai in the northand for its sandy beaches and plush resorts.
As the bustling capital, Bangkok is home to more than 8 million people, all of whom seem to traversing the streets all hours of the day. The infamous traffic earns its reputation the hard way, slowly grinding to a crawl as zillions of mopeds glide in and out of gridlocked taxis, buses and jazzed-up tuk-tuks. Fortunately, you can stay above or below the fray thanks to Bangkok's speedy, spotless and remarkably cheap metro system, which happily also serves Suvarnabhumi International Airport.
Bangkok is teeming with things to do and see, which has made it one of the world's top tourist destinations with more than 12 million visitors annually. And you will feel them, in droves, flocking to the major attractions dotting the city and along the Chao Phraya River. Top among them is the Grand Palace, home to two centuries of Thai monarchs; today, you can marvel at regal architecture, intricate mosaics and embellishments as well as the solid-jade Emerald Buddha statue inside stunning Wat Phra Kaew.
Nearby at Wat Pho, don't miss the great, golden 151-foot-long Reclining Buddha, where newly re-elected President Obama and outgoing Secretary of State Hillary Clinton visited during their historic November 2012 Thai junket. Across the river, the lovely Wat Arun temple lets you climb 250 feet up for a spectacular city view.
Organized and affordable tours can ease your Thai experience, complete with an air-conditioned ride and English-speaking guide. This is a great option for the must-see Damnoensaduak Floating Market, located about an hour's drive south of Bangkok. There, you can hop on a long-tail boat for a canal tour to the market, where stalls line the banks and you can order fresh noodle dishes and buy souvenirs without ever leaving the boat.
If you're in town over a weekend, practice your bargaining skills at the enormous Chatuchak Weekend Market in northwest Bangkok. While nighttime markets crop up all over town, Chatuchak is a true convergence point of Bangkok, loosely organized into 27 shopping sections that span everything from textiles and electronics, to ceramics and live animals, to handicrafts and Buddhist amulets.
Because Bangkok, like Thailand in general, is so unfazed by all things gay and lesbian, there is a surprising lack of designated queer clubs. In fact, the red-light districts of Patpong and Soi Cowboy, both near the Sukhumvit metro (find Soi 2 or 4), are famous for ubiquitous prostitution and strip clubs, but also are the closest Bangkok really gets to a gay villageand even then the gays are limited to a few mainly late-night bars, like the Balcony or Telephone, where you can find gorgeous "ladyboys" and their more masculine counterparts.
Lesbians are bit more visible throughout Bangkok, where "Toms" are free to dress as boyish (and way stylish) as they like, especially when escorting their femme "Dees." But when it's time to hang out with just the girls, there's Zeta, a women's-only bar on the north side of town. (Just make sure you get a cab driver who knows where he's going.)
Accommodations run the gamut of choices in this capital city. On the high end, splurging on a river-view room at the Shangri-La Hotel Bangkok will make for a tranquil, well-located retreat, with indulgence around every corner.
For less baht (currency is about 30 baht to the dollar), OmYim Lodge is a clean, central option for the budget traveler, and gets even cheaper if you go without windows. The Bangkok Rama Hotel is nearer to the airport, offers low rates for more space and is just 20 minutes from the center of town.
From Bangkok, historic Ayutthaya is an hour north, and a great short trip for visiting some of southeast Asia's oldest temples and royal ruins. Be sure to visit the elephants at the lesbian-owned Elephant Stay, which offers overnight volunteer packages at its sanctuary, or hour-long rides in town.
Few people who cross an ocean to visit Thailand do so for only one city, and many of them come mainly for the legendary beaches that make the heat not only bearable, but welcome. Koh Samui is the big island in the Gulf of Thailand, and an unrivaled, picturesque tropical setting. Many big-time hotels have opened on Samui, but one of the best is Napasai, by gay-friendly Orient-Express. The resort has its own quiet inlet on Maenam Beach, on the calm northern coast, and offers villas on the beach or up the lush slope at competitive package rates.
Another luxurious option is Karma Samui. Located near Samui Airport and the Chaweng strip, it offers private plunge pools, gorgeous gulf views, and multi-bedroom villas that encourage group stays (and minimize rates).
Tour companies like Grand Sea Discovery offer packages at all prices, like a day-long cruise to two nearby islands, snorkeling and lunch for around $70the going rate for such tours, and a sign that the island paradise of Samui is catching on to Western pricing. (But don't be shy about trying to bargain your way to a better deal.)
For something even more remote, head west to the far side of the Thai peninsula, through the small town of Krabi to Koh Lanta. Here's where things get more remote, and you can soak it up in style at the posh Pimilai Resort, where your hillside villa overlooking the Indian Ocean will leave you mesmerized with serene natural beauty.
Alas, a traveler must move on eventually. And the best final stop is Chiang Mai, a less daunting, more traditional Thai city nestled in the northern hills. Here you can stop by the local zoo, home to Thailand's only pandas, or head up the mountain to the spectacular Doi Sutthep temple. Chiang Mai is a terrific shopping town, so don't miss the sprawling night and weekend markets.
The city also is home to one of the world's most luxurious resorts, the Mandarin Oriental Dhara Dhevi, which functions like its own kingdom and actually offers tours of its elaborate grounds and palatial, traditional architecture. If you can find an overnight deal that's in your budget, don't miss it.
Undoubtedly, Thailand is on a major economic upswing, thanks partly to its booming tourism, and to its kind and industrious people. There's never been a better time to see this thriving country, just hurry up and catch it before the whole rest of the world shows up.