Oh, those crazy priests! What will they get up to next? I swear, children, if you want to find a crazed horn dog to get down and dirty with, don't bother with your local bathhouse or adult bookstore, just get on your knees at your local house of worship. Or should that be whoreship?
The following was taken from thesmokinggun.com, a Web site that ferrets out nasty details about our populace from the public record:
'In the latest church sex scandal, a Catholic pastor in Florida has just been stripped of his duties after church officials learned that the reverend had placed a personal ad, 'complete with a naked photo of himself' on a gay web site.
'Francis T. Gera, 64, was removed Thursday (2/20) from his post as pastor of Holy Dormition Byzantine Catholic Church in Ormond Beach, Florida. Gera was relieved of his duties when church brass learned of his posting on the Silverfox Pictures Archive web site, which describes itself as, 'your one-stop repository for pictures of older men.'
'Along with a full-frontal photo of Gera (from RR: if you want to see the good reverend in all his glory, with privates mercifully photo-optically shielded, go to thesmokinggun.com/archive/revgera1.html), the personal ad described the preferences of 'Poppa Bear': 'Likes younger, TOP, slim-muscular men, 18-40. He lives in Daytona Beach, Florida and can be reached at (an AOL address that begins with Gera's initials, ftg). The e-mail address included in the personal ad was the same one at which parishioners would correspond with Gera.''
Did you get that last bit, boys and girls? Our Father, who art in big trouble, used the same AOL screen name that he gives out to his flock! Methinks somebody has been dipping into the communion wine a bit too much, pickling his liturgical brain.
Somehow, my eyes have not opened wide in surprise at this latest bit of secular scandal. I haven't been too shocked at the antics of priests since I was an eight-year-old boy being groped in the vestibule of my old hometown Catholic Church by Father … well, let's not use a name here. We'll just protect the guilty. What's a little friendly grope?
Maybe the Catholic church needs to recognize that priests get horny, too and allow them some outlet for the desires God gave them. I don't blame Father Gera for placing a personal ad to get some prime meat (who among us hasn't done something similar? I'm certainly not casting stones here), what I do blame him for is stupidity. Doesn't the defrocked priest (and again, if you want to see a picture of him really defrocked, go to thesmokinggun.com/archive/revgera1.html) realize that he can have up to five screen names on AOL? For Christ's sake, Father, pick something other than the name you give the people who come to you for spiritual guidance.
But I'm sure 'Poppa Bear' is already aware of that … now. Make a good act of contrition, father, and if you sin again, use the head between your shoulders instead of the one between your legs as you carry it out.