I've knelt on Jeff Stryker's bed. Oh yes!! It was a shame that he wasn't there at the time, but ... you can't have everything. I can thank my friend Mercury for this opportunity. Mercury is currently appearing at the Bailiwick in Jeff Stryker Does Hard Time, and he needed a headshot.
Of course, I wanted to take the photo on the stage and suck up the ambiance of where Mr. Stryker displays his enormous talent. Hey! There are two kinds of gay men, liars and size-queens; I'm a size queen.
Mercury took me to the empty stage. There were the beds, the prison bars and ... gasp! ... when I saw the showers I lost all restraint in the underwear department. I imagined me kneeling down in the showers and Jeff Stryker ...
Oh I won't bore you with my silly old queen fantasies.
Anyway, you can also see Mercury dancing at the Lucky Horseshoe Lounge, and he's got a store selling jewelry down at Navy Pier.
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"You actually MET Margaret Cho!!" said a friend of mine. It was a bit of a letdown when I said, "No, I didn't MEET Margaret Cho, I took a picture of her. It's not the same thing at all."
Ms. Cho was signing her new book I'm the One That I Want at Women and Children First—actually the book signing took place at the Swedish American Museum down the street. I gathered up Ann and Linda from the bookstore and they posed with Ms. Cho—took 30 seconds tops.
But hundreds of her adoring fans were lined up outside; including Bruno, the bartender at the Manhandler, and Kathleen and Julie, the girlz behind the upcoming Tanked party at Drink.
"So what's she like?" continued my friend.
"How the hell would I know? She looked tired, but she smiled graciously for the camera," I answered, trying to come up with something interesting.
"Wow!" said my friend, "You MET Margaret Cho."
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Who's That Girl was another big successful fundraiser for Howard Brown. This year it was spread over two nights and I went to the Friday night event. Highlights for me were—sorry, I didn't write down your names girls—Mae West and, of course, Madonna stepping out of that mirror-glass car. Patricia Roberts is always fabulous, but you knew that.
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The Bijou are just too good to me. After I recently wrote in this column that I liked big hairy guys, they sent me a copy of the video Bear-Assed—a title that is, I think you'll agree, straight to the point. I've watched it several times, but I've never seen the end of it. Can't think why!!
Bear-Assed is a Tough Studs Video, directed by Danny Mack and starring Randy Elliott, Steve Masters, Steve Michaels and Jake Black.
So if you like Bears, you can buy this video at the Bijou Theater at 1349 N. Wells St., where you can also pick up the famous Bijou catalog on CD-Rom.
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May 11 is going to be a busy night for me. I'll be reading at the High Risk Gallery at Thunder Ed's Pink Champagne: Poetry Done Queerly event. Yvonne Zipter, Kate Sloan Fiffer, and the fabulous Jason Schupp are also featured. Starts at 7 p.m., 1115 Belmont.
I'll be reading first and BE WARNED, I can be pretty obnoxious; I write punk snot poetry. After reading at Pink Champagne I'm off to Tanked, the Hi-Energy Dance for Women at Drink Nightclub at 702 W. Fulton. This is Black Bra Party II—which was THE event of the year. Pulsation, Valerie James and Jessica Halem will be performing. Not to be missed. Starts at 8 p.m.
At 11 p.m. I'll be at the opening night of Miss Tiger's new erotic cabaret at the Bijou called My Little Fortune Cookie. I just HAVE to be there, otherwise Peaches Giancanna will rip my balls off.
After that, if this old queen is still standing, I'm heading out to Legacy 21 for their ... get this! ... their 40th anniversary!!
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I made a mistake going to see the Sing-A-Long Sound of Music at the Music Box last week i.e. I should have had a few beers before I went. More than a few beers!!
The Sing-A-Long Sound of Music was a benefit for Howard Brown and Windy City Performing Arts; two worthy causes. Yes, people did come dressed as nuns and other characters from the movie. In fact, I was taking a photograph of a group of women dressed as nuns, and one of them—possibly Sister Impatience of the Missing Humor Gene—snapped at me, "Are you taking a picture of us or not?" Well fuck you too Missy!!
Charmian Carr, who played Liesel in the movie, was a charming host. The audience was given a crash course in responses. "When she appears over the hill at the beginning of the film, you shout 'She's coming!!!'" etc. etc.
I'm sure that after a couple of joints/cocktails/whatever and if you go with a group of friends, the Sing-A-Long Sound of Music is a blast. However, I had to leave after 20 minutes, and it was nothing to do with the show. Everyone else was having a great time singing along.
I just hate that movie, and I can't listen to Julie Andrews singing or speaking. I admire her greatly as a woman, but that stupid "theater trained" English accent grates on me.
Having said that, I will be going back again to see it again with friends. Only next time, I'll be shitfaced.
ABOVE: Mercury does Hard Time with Jeff Stryker; Gina at Different Strokes ... Gina, Gina, Gina, so beautiful you just want to slap her.
RIGHT: Where does Frankie Da Kat get his energy? FAR RIGHT: Looking up Marilyn's skirt at what bar?
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