According to an article in Britain's Guardian newspaper, 'the Catholic Church is telling countries stricken by AIDS not to use condoms because they have tiny holes in them through which can pass the HIV virus.' This, of course, is despite a widespread scientific consensus that condoms are impermeable to the HIV virus.
The Vatican has a bad track record when it comes to science. In 1610, Galileo looked through his telescope and discovered the Earth travels around the Sun, rather than the other way around. This caused the Catholic church to lift up its collective skirts and run screaming like banshees on crystal through the corridors of the Vatican.
Galileo was branded a heretic and wasn't pardoned until 1982. It took them 372 years to acknowledge the Earth went around the sun. Will the same thing happen with condoms?
I often wonder what other scientific inventions they don't accept: the microwave oven, the pop-up toaster, the iPod …
… the wheel ….
What's their position on Lycra cycle shorts?
Of course, I acknowledge that my version of the Bible is different from theirs e.g. on Lycra cycle shorts, mine reads:
'And Jesus moved mysteriously among the crowd of shoppers and said, 'Thou shalt not buy men's Lycra cycle shorts unless there is an abundance of genitals to fill them. For it is written that a man who shows a small package to his fellow man shall not enter the Kingdom of God, but shall be cast down into the pits of Hell and be known as Miss Tiny Meat.''
'And lo Jesus mounted a soldier's ass and rode it into … .' But, seriously, you have to wonder about a religion that purports to believe in the sanctity of life and then attempts to kill everyone with its 'Don't Use Condoms' message. I'm sure that Jesus didn't die that horrible death so that 2,000 years later a bunch of half-crazy men in drag could try to wipe out the population of Africa.
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According to Reuters, a 28-year-old man accused of stealing a man's penis through sorcery was beaten to death in the West African country of Gambia. 'Baba Jallow was killed by about 10 people in the town of Serekunda, nine miles from the capital Banjul.'
'Reports of penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, with purported victims claiming that alleged sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear in order to extort cash in the promise of a cure. Seven alleged penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs in Ghana in 1997.'
Oh god! I'm so jealous!! I wish I could make penises disappear just by shaking hands with people. I'd go straight off to the Log Cabin Republicans annual convention and introduce myself to every damn one of them.
'Hi, my name is Sukie de la Croix … ' (shake hands) ... 'Hi, my name is Sukie de la Croix … ' (shake hands)
I'm off to Gambia and signing up for Sorcery School. I'll be like Harry Potter gone bad … really bad.
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Pam Anderson recently told Jane magazine that she feels like 'a gay man trapped in this body.' I wish I was a gay man trapped in her body for a week; I'd be a complete whore.