The reason I don't go to the Disney Gay Day is because I don't think I could take all that sexual tension.
People look at me strangely when I tell them I'm sexually attracted to Minnie Mouse. On my planet it's perfectly acceptable for a
man and an animated rodent to have a sexual relationship; cartoon characters have the same rights as anyone else on Planet Sukie.
It's a great place to live, because there are no cops, no politicians, no priests and you can have a drive-through abortion 24/7.
GOSSIP: Snow White has had more abortions than the cast of Baywatch.
But let's get back to Minnie. I always think about Minnie Mouse when I masturbate. I sometimes drop my pants, park my butt on
the sofa and spank my monkey watching the video of 'Mickey and Minnie in Honolulu,' where Minnie looks particularly hot.
I also have S&M fantasies about Minnie Mouse. The one that really gets me off is the one where I'm in jail and I'm taking a
shower. I've already been ruthlessly gang-banged by 13 Jessica Rabbit's and the Little Mermaid wearing strap-ons, so I'm a little
Just as I turn off the shower, I hear a squeaky voice behind me, 'Hey fag!' I turn just in time to catch the big yellow hand slap me
upside the head, 'Get on your knees sissy boy and eat my … '
… I know it's weird. I'm not ashamed of it. I'll come right out of the closet and say it: 'I want to be Minnie Mouse's bitch!'
And me and cartoon sex didn't just start yesterday, either, because my earliest sexual stirrings were inspired by Bambi …
… should I go there with more details?
Probably not … just think of me, Bambi, and the number 69 and you'll be visually in the neighborhood of my young sexual
And don't even get me started on Dumbo. Those ears, that trunk …
Pinkpistols.org is an interesting Web site. I love the logo and slogan; someone aiming a gun inside a pink triangle and 'Pick on
someone your own caliber.'
There's a chapter in Chicagoland. Do I support queers carrying guns for protection against bashers? Absolutely!!
That surprised you, didn't it? You thought I was one of those pinko peaceniks …
Well I was, but I am getting so tired of these idiots. All any gay man needs in his pocket these days is a bottle of poppers,
condoms, lube, and a pearl-handled .38 snubnose revolver …
… OK it's a girl's gun, but we don't want to lose touch with our feminine side, do we boys …
Another installment of WHEN LESBIANS GO BAD.
The New York Post reports on a dispute between lovers Caryn Brandland and Pamela Eagle. It all started five years ago when
Brandland suffered a brain injury when she was hit on the head by ice falling from the Empire State Building in New York City. Don't
you hate it when that happens?
According to Brandland's lawsuit, Eagle took advantage of her disability by cleaning out her bank accounts to the tune of
hundreds of thousands of dollars, and was now refusing to move out of the apartment that Brandland owns.
It all sounds deliciously nasty. This whole horrible mess is being sorted out by the Manhattan Supreme Court.