"That blond is so hot I'm gonna have to change my mini-pad," said a certain lesbian slut I know, who will remain nameless...she knows who she is. She was right too, because the topless stripper at the Chix Mix "Party Like A Rock Star" at Nocturnal was sensational. So hot, I didn't even notice the other strippers.
I went to the Chix Mix party with vamp Lynda Licina and writer, Jason Schupp ... "Where did they get all these gorgeous women bartenders?" I asked Jason. "I think they went bartender shopping at the Tit Store" was the answer I got.
It's true ... there were more jugs than a FiestaWare convention. I predicted Chix Mix was the Event of the Year and I was right. Nocturnal, what a great location ... just down the street from the fabulous Transit, and you can actually park nearby!!
I especially liked the leopardskin lounge area, where older guys and gals like myself could escape to hear songs we recognized played by the adorable DJ Pussy Galore.
There were a couple of firsts for me at this party too. It was the first time I had lesbians slapping my bare ass while I held up my kilt, and the other first was ...
Well ... OK, so the party was mostly women, and so both bathrooms were used by the girlz, but the men's urinals were free, so I unzipped and stood there. Next thing I know there's someone standing next to me peeing, and it was Lynda Licina. "Us girlz can do anything you boyz can do, and that includes peeing standing up," she said.
I looked down and sure nuff, she was shooting a stream. I think we bonded, and our friendship entered a new phase. A gay family that pisses together, stays together ... am I right?
Congratulations to those Chix Mix girlz Kathleen and Julie for changing the face of lesbian entertainment in the city.
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Also kudos go to dykediva.com for their Pussy Whipped party at Subterranean. Now, that was a wild party! I went to that one with Frankie Da Kat, Mark and Toyah ... three boys who had their stereotypical view of lesbians blown out the window. They were all worried they wouldn't be welcome ... wrong!
In fact, Frankie Da Kat was so impressed that he has made Thursdays Frankie Da Kat's Pussy Kat night at Different Strokes. So now Thursdays is girlz night.
Had a great time at Subterranean, and Jessica Halem is a scream, especially when she's down on her knees swallowing cream from a can that happens to be between the legs of a Chicago King. Even I got a flutter ...
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Not too sure what this is about, but I've just been invited to "We Want To Bowl You Over" on Friday, Sept. 28, at Southport Lanes & Billiards at 3325 N. Southport 6:30 p.m.-9 p.m.
It says here ... "You know us as the Sex Police, our AIDS Awareness, hip-hop dance play seen by over 90,000 teenagers since 1991. But there's so much more. The School Street Movement, its board, staff, artists, and friends want to 'pin you down' to tell you about our latest tactics in the war against HIV.
"There will be a short presentation at 7:30 p.m. and bowling ( six-frame games ) the entire time. Suggested donation $20."
So mark your calendars. Let's all go bowling that night.
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Book of the Week: Dirty Pictures: Tom of Finland, Masculinity, and Homosexuality by Micha Ramakers ( St. Martin's Press $16.95 ) . This is a fascinating book about the work of Touko Laaksonen and his influence on gay culture. Of particular interest is the artist's early erotic work from the '40s before he created the super-endowed leather men that we all know and love him for.
My other Book of the Week is on a subject dear to my heart; Pre-Stonewall homo and lesbo pulp fiction novels. Queer Pulp by Susan Stryker ( Chronicle Books $19.95 ) . There are a couple of books on this subject, but this is the first I've seen with men's books, along with information about some of the authors.
This is definitely a book for every pervert's coffee table. Includes Hot Pants Homo by Percy Fenster..."Women lusted after this handsome, virile jazzman ... it took him years of agony to realize he wanted a man."
And Sir Gay by Lynton Wright Brent..."When the Limp Wrist set took over, the power structures trembled."
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Porn of the Week: Never a week goes by without my mailbox being filled up with filth. My top pick this week is Initiation from Raging Stallion Studios again, albeit their first co-production with Zeus Studios, giving us the twisted brilliance of co-directors Chris Ward, J.D. Slater and Daddy Zeus.
Stars of this torturefest are leather gods Bryce Pierce ( try taking that piece of meat through airport security ) and cutie Robert Black.
You can find out more about this video at www.ragingstallion.com