NEWSFLASH: Frankie's turtle has been found. Two weeks ago you read the exclusive story here in Street Walkin,' about how Frankie Da Kat at Different Strokes put a turtle down on his desk, turned his back for a minute, and it disappeared. Despite a massive turtle-hunt...the building was scoured by drag queens and strippers...the turtle was not found. Until two weeks later, the turtle...now called Sukie ( Can you believe it!! ) ...turned up alive and well.
So the turtle was crawling around a basement for two weeks eating whatever it is that turtles eat. What do turtles eat? That's a point: how did Sukie the turtle survive for two weeks with no food? Could there be something fishy about this turtle story? Is it possible that someone kidnapped the turtle and took it home...ransom money, tied the turtle to a bed etc....and then chickened out and brought the turtle back?
If anyone has any theories about Frankie Da Kat's turtle call 773-871-7610 or e.mail me at sukiedelacroix@ozhasspoken
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Strange things going on inside the Berlin walls.
Cess Poole Circus was a wriggling mass of clowns wearing sinister masks and red noses. It was every child's most disturbing nightmare come to life. For sheer creativity, Berlin stands out like a beacon of light in a so-called "gay neighborhood" that is fast losing its appeal.
Ich bin ein Berliner. Yes, I know what it means ... "I am a small donut."
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Wacky Webs of the Week come from Barry Aldridge and Purple Rattus.
Aldridge wants us all to visit www.pixyland.org/peterpan for a glimpse into the life of a man who is either a genius or one sandwich short of a picnic.
Purple Rattus thinks we should be aware of a serious social problem: Squirrel Hazing: The Untold Story can be visited at web.wt.net/~psherr/squirrel_hazing.htm
Send your wacky webs or other comments to sukiedelacroix@ozhasspoken
Frankie kisses Sukie ( the turtle ) .
Cess Poole Circus at Berlin
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I received this e-mail from Martin in Britain: "We have a new Big Brother started up a few weeks ago, and I was not going to watch it, but there is an openly gay man on the show ( he works as an air host! ) . He is quite young and camp. The first person voted out of the house was female, so he moved out of the boys' room and into the girls' room! The women love him, the men are not too keen.
"The interesting twist is that for a bit of variety a new member of the house moved in ( the 11th guest ) . The existing people knew that an 11th would join them.
"This 11th person was voted by the public out of a selection of 5 people...and guess who the great British public voted for: The female blond? The older man? No, they picked the openly gay hunk with the tanned muscles.
"When he arrived the women went weak at the knees and the men looked very threatened; they did not know he was gay at this stage. The women were all flirting and the men did not like the way he had moved in on their sexual territory.
"Then he came out to them. The women were annoyed as they fancied him, but they love him anyway. The men are now confused. The next few weeks could be interesting, because we now have two openly gay men in the house."
The gay guys are Brian and Josh.
Go check them out at www.bigbrother.terra.com/frameset.html [ And then you can find out which of the two gay boys were kicked off first! ]
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I don't know where Juan finds his dancers but he's got an excellent eye for picking the boys. Madrigals is one more reason why Andersonville is the place to be these days. Great bars and restaurants.
I was very sad to see that Julie Mai's had closed down. Does anyone know what happened there?
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The Rainbo Roller Rink on gay skate night is like a flashback to the '70s, and I Will Survive takes on a new meaning; how some of those boyz and girlz survive at those speeds, I don't know.
This was my second visit to this monthly event and I have yet to put a pair of wheels on my feet. I have enough trouble walking. I stand on the sidelines holding my breath ... "Oh no sweetheart, slow down, slow down, you're going to hit the wall. Move over, more over, you're going to bump into that other person."
I'm beginning to be such a pathetic old Mother Hen of a Queen. I think I'm in the claws of the menopause. Actually, I'm post-menopausal.
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Book of the Week: Drama Queen: A Gay Man's Guide to an Uncomplicated Life by Patrick Price ( Griffin paperback $12.95 ) . You know the old joke: Question: How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: Fifty. One to do it and 49 to get sucked up into the drama of it all.
Nobody overreacts, or is that OVER ACTS, like a gay man. We've all been a drama queen at some point in our lives, and Drama Queen: A Gay Man's Guide to an Uncomplicated Life is a book that will help you "get over yourself."
A sample question from the chapter What's Your DQ ( Drama Quotient ) : While you're riding public transportation, a stranger bumps into you with her bag. You a ) Sarcastically shriek "Excuse me!" b ) Ignore it. Accidents happen. c ) Elbow her back to make a point. d ) focus a death stare so intense that milk curdles, pit bulls whimper, people flee, and babies cry.
The only bad thing about this book is that you will soon find out that everything your best friend told you about yourself is actually true. You really are a nasty, bitter and twisted little bitch.
But we're gay, so that's a good thing.
