The day after the Manhole Bar Olympics "Rimming Contest" I had to take my clothes to the dry cleaners. I was covered in cream, peanut butter and god knows what else.
The chaos was emceed by Daisy Mae, who hosts Drag Queen Bingo at Circuit on Monday nights. However, the funniest line I heard all night was in the bathroom. I went for a pee and standing next to me was-;I won't name him-;and he had the biggest thing between his legs. I looked over and said, "Oh my God, that's huge. I'd love to take a photograph of that."
He turned to me and said, "You don't need to take a picture of it, it's already an 8" X 10.""
A huge cock and a sharp wit. Some queens have just got everything ...
I was very impressed by Circuit's Purple Haze, who managed to turn cream into peanut butter just by shoving her face up someone's ass. You know how that is, right? I've never actually met Miss Haze but I'm guessing she never graduated from Miss Primshaw's Finishing School for Young Ladies.
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Where the fuck is Jak's Tap? Well, we found it at 901 W. Jackson. This was the venue for the 1st Drag King Party organized by Chicago Kings. And it was sizzling in there!! I think that even the Kings were surprised by how many people turned up.
Drag Kings and Drag Queens, in case you haven't seen both, differ in many ways, but primarily in two areas: 1 ) Drag Kings are raunchier & 2 ) Drag Kings use a wider variety of songs; I don't see Chili Pepper doing the Ramones "I Wanna Be Sedated" ... although, I'd like to see it.
It seems like everyone turned out for this show. I saw Chandra from Scarlet Life, and Edith Corra, the window-dresser from the Brown Elephant, and angst-master poet Stevan who seems to be following me around the city.
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Michelle, who has the best hats, and can be seen propping up the bar in Bucks, has a whole repertoire of Monica Lewinski jokes. Some of them in very bad taste, I'm pleased to say. Spoke to the very yummy John Lusk from the Robert Jeffrey hair and skin care studio at 3436-38 N. Halsted. He was wearing a Hoist T-shirt. The Hoist is a leather bar in London ... that brought back some jaw-breaking memories.
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So there I was in Charlie's and a certain cowgirl called X introduced me to her ex-girlfriend, then left us alone. Big mistake!! I get the dirt on X. Apparently X was once arrested for riding naked on a cow in Kansas City. That must have been a Kodak moment.
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VJ Darrell Gordon is a walking encyclopedia of music. So if you've got a party, fundraiser, wedding, or whatever, coming up, and you want something different, then Darrell is the guy for you. He's got '60s, and '70s oldies/dusties on video, as well as 1950s early/rare Rhythm & Blues and Rock 'n' Roll sounds. For more information call Darrell at 312-409-1432.
SUKIE'S HOT JERK-OFF VIDEO OF THE WEEK
Against a bizarre backdrop of Prague, or is it Budapest, complete with bicycles and a jester, Pavel Nikos & Wim Hof give us "Impromptus: El Greco's Journey," the story of three friends, all uncut, young and edible, who take it real slow. If you're a size queen and want hardcore fast action, you've bought the wrong video. This video is romantic Gothic sex, with candles, crucifixes and medieval wall-hangings. Fabulous!
Starring El Greco, Pepa, Andel, Milan Dabelsky, Karel Pisek, Pavel Holub, Velky Curak and Kristen Paulk.
You can buy this video at the Bijou Theater at 1349 N. Wells St., where you can also pick up the famous Bijou catalog on CD-Rom.
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The 1st gathering of the Erotic Preservation and Appreciation Consortium ( EPAC ) will take place Friday April 20, 7-9 p.m. at the Gerber/Hart Library at 1127 W. Granville. Vintage and new videos will be shown, and there will also be a large porn sale.
EPAC nights will take place every 1st and 3rd Fridays of the month. This is a men-only event. Donation of $5.
