There's some monkey business going on in Japan. In the mountains of Kyoto a colony of 120 macaques monkeys are showing some striking lesbian tendencies. Yes, the macaques are having girl-on-girl sex, and that includes monkeys rubbing their clitoris' against their female partner's back. That's hot and sweaty sex in Monkey-Land!! Girl monkeys also masturbate with the tails. That's a visual!!
And so, I got to thinking … which, as you know, is usually a big mistake … what about a lesbian monkey porn video for 'the specialist market.' 'Hot Lesbo Primates Go Wild: Orgy at the Zoo.'
I'd buy it.
Did you read about the 300 women peace activists in Australia who stripped naked and laid down on a Sydney sports field to spell out the words 'No War.'
According to one of the women, 'It's absolute complete vulnerability, and in that vulnerability there's also an awful lot of power, there's a mighty well of power there.'
There's an aerial photograph of these women lying there looking like a crop circle with tits. Except, it's more like a CRAP circle. Laying around naked is not going to stop the War Against Iraq, it's just not.
It's about as effective as dropping your pants and mooning the Pentagon.
When is this stupid hippy bullshit going to end!?
They actually sent this press release to me. ME … of all people!!
'Dear Reviewer: Hatherleigh Press is pleased to announce the imminent release of The White House Workout: The Fitness Plan Inspired by President George W. Bush's HealthierUS Initiative by Andrew Flach and RoseMarie Alfieri.
'President Bush knows the value of exercise and fitness to overall health. He exercises almost every day, no matter where he is. He inspires us all to be more active in our lives. To encourage his fellow Americans to follow a path of healthy living, President Bush created the HealthierUS Initiative. Now, here's your chance to learn more about it and take healthy steps in your own life.
'The White House Workout reveals easy ways to add exercise to your daily life, the essential ingredients of good nutrition, important health screenings no one should miss, and smart and healthy lifestyle choices. It also includes everyday flexibility boosters; walking, jogging, and running programs; strength building exercises; an 8-week workout plan; healthy recipes for every family; a sneak peek at the president's fitness routine; and much, much more.'
Thousands of young Americans are going off to fight in a stupid war, and we get the George Bush Workout Book. I can't wait for the video …
Madonna recently signed a contract to write five children's books. The first, to be published in September, is called The English Roses.
Anything that keeps her away from 'acting' is OK with me. She couldn't convincingly play the part of a corpse in Six Feet Under, but we still love her, don't we?
Talking about Six Feet Under, who's dead and who's alive in the new series? Not that it makes much difference, it's still the only thing on TV worth watching.
… the new Queer as Folk? Oh puleaze!!