Just what the world needs, another talk show host. This time it's Ellen DeGeneres, and the show starts in the fall; which gives me nine months to 1) swallow arsenic or 2) come up with some nifty excuses to not watch it.
When you're working for a newspaper, you have to keep up with modern culture; which is why I've seen every episode of Queer As Folk and hated every moment of it. The characters are so ghastly, I want to queer bash them myself. However, I'm glad the show is on and that it broke down some TV barriers.
And so I guess I've got to sit through the first 'out' lesbian with a talk show. I've got nothing against Ellen herself, although I think she was funnier when she was in the closet. I just have this fear that she's going to interview the Indigo Girls.
Some people are frightened of snakes, some of spiders, but me … well, the Indigo Girls scare the shit out of me. It all started years ago with that first album, and I saw a picture of them. My first thought was, 'That hair has to be illegal!!' Now, over the years there has been an improvement in the Indigo Girl hair department …I can forgive serial killers and baby stranglers, but I can't forgive bad hair. And do I want to watch an interview with two women who had that hair in the first place!!
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Staying on the subject of lesbians: this next one is my kind of gal. The Los Angeles Times reports that lesbian Superior Court Judge Diana R. Hall was recently arrested on suspicion of drunk driving after allegedly pulling a pistol on her 'domestic partner.' Her 'domestic partner,' whose name is Deidra Dykeman— (I am not making this up)—called the police after the incident. According to Dykeman's restraining order on Hall, the couple got into a fight and a shitfaced Hall threatened to shoot one of their dogs.
Sick I may be, but I love it when good lesbians SNAP and go bad. It must be all those John Waters movies I watched. These goody two shoes lesbians make me puke …
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Sick of the gay bars? Why not go to a straight bar and take hundreds of gay people with you. Just pick a straight bar and turn up one night for a party.
That's what Guerilla Queer Bar (GQB) is doing all over the world. GQB are an internet-based group with 1,500 members. Last November the group turned up—complete with drag queens—at a straight country and western bar, to the stunned amazement of the regulars. geocities.com/guerrillaqueerbar/
Read the report on the 'surprise' leather S&M party they held in a hotel in San Francisco. The parties are usually organized early in the evening, so that people can move onto the gay bars later.
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Two gay male politicians in Britain have been reprimanded for exchanging e-mails in the workplace listing their five favorite lust puppies in the office. This got me thinking about my Top Five. Oh God, not my Top Five at the Windy City Media Group … arghhhh!
My Top Five Lust-Puppy actors: 1) Brad Pitt. 2) Rupert Graves. 3) Johnny Depp. 4) Denzel Washington. 5) Ben Browder (Farscape).
The interesting thing about my wish list is that none of these guys is a Bear, and I like Bears. Maybe there aren't any Bear actors. What's your Top Five? E-mail me at sukiedelacroix@ozhasspoken.com
