My favorite letter this week is Demanda Bump's newsletter coming out of Kenosha, WI. What the fuck is she doing up there?
It arrived at my office with a little note attached: 'Sukie, feel free to print anything I wrote.'
OK bitch, I will!!
'Howdy all, thought I would drop a line and clear up a few rumors that are going around about me. There are so many, where to begin … oh, I know, there's one that's kind of annoying. I guess it seems that the hormones I am on (which I am not on) are making me go crazy because my broke ass keeps skipping treatments, so I have been just out of control, and cracked out. I would love to know what dumb fucking faggot started that. I'm not on hormones, I'm just fucking fat! Thanks for the reminder, and as for being crazy … fuck off, aren't we all a little nutty …
' … next rumor is that I do drugs! I have not seen any drugs since I was a little girl living in Columbia. My parents were 'farmers,' and I didn't even learn how to properly harvest Cocoa plants, much less how to make 'Yay' out of it; for all you white breaded yuppies 'Yay' is slang for cocaine. So no, I am a goody two-shoe bitch.'
Whatever!! … We love Demanda Bump here at Nightspots.
Some of the Nightspots gang headed south to the Patch for their 5th anniversary–that's five years under Nikki. The bar itself has been around since forever. This is what I don't understand; the bar was absolutely packed and yet we managed to park in their tiny lot. Surely, there can't be that many lesbians living within walking distance of the bar. Can there? How did they all get there?
Nikki has been running the bar for FIVE years and she was one of this year's Windy City Media Group 30 Under 30 kidz. That's something to be proud of … I'm impressed. Nice bunch of gals down there in Calumet City.
After the Patch we drove down to Encompass in Lake Station, Indiana; a Nightspots favorite hang-out. They had a fabulous drag show, and I guess we should have found out who the girls on stage were, but we were too busy partying. Every so often I pulled out the camera and photographed some glittering queen throwing herself around the stage. I love Encompass because you can get away from the dance floor and sit in their quiet little piano bar and 'talk' … remember 'talking' in bars, those were the days.
The last bar we went to that night was Inn Exile, where Kirk fell head over heels (Again!) for some cutie. He was adorable, though …
If you hear a rumor about me biting a bartender's ass, resulting in him falling back off the bar and getting himself wedged in a very undignified position … it's true.
But that's what happens when you drop into Clarks for a cocktail. Actually, anything can happen when you drop into Clarks for a cocktail …
Before you hit the bars and clubs, why not stop off for a fine dining experience at the exquisite Tomboy … ask to see the wine list. A great place to impress a date …