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Strap this On
by lisa rock
2007-05-30

This article shared 1627 times since Wed May 30, 2007
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My dear friend Rachel, from last year's adult summer camp/summer of love in Florida, had a bad day today. I really wanted to get her a card to perk her up, but there just wasn't one that quite fit the situation. While telling her about the card I couldn't find, we started laughing about the options we wished were available in this situation. ( Read the last one to see the rough day she had. ) So Strap This On for the beginning of summer and the greeting cards that I think should be out there. Viva la Summer Camp, Rachel!

The Top Ten ( Plus Some ) Greeting Cards I'd Like to See

18 ) Sorry I maxed out your credit card. Can we play the pimp and the prostitute game to make up for it?

17 ) Sorry I gave you an STD.

16 ) Sorry you ran over your cat with the lawn mower.

15 ) Lesbians: They'll keep you coming and coming and coming...

14 ) I'm sorry I gave you a pregnancy test and didn't read your chart that said you were gay. ( Yeah, this happened. I'm not paying for it. I almost felt bad for the nurse when she told me I wasn't pregnant, but this is Sensitivity Training 101... and it's a fertility clinic that has a large number of lesbian clientele. )

13 ) Sorry I gave you food poisoning because I forgot to check the expiration date on the package of shrimp.

12 ) Sorry you couldn't get it up last night. Here's some Viagra.

11 ) A credit card in the hand is worth time in the bush.

10 ) Sorry I missed your G-spot last night. Let's try again right now.

9 ) Sorry I threw up in your car... and that I had eaten a slice of blueberry pie.

8 ) You remind me of my gym teacher. She was strong and liked to take charge, too.

7 ) Sorry you got fired from your job because you got caught surfing the Internet for porn.

6 ) Lesbians don't have better orgasms. They just have them more frequently.

5 ) I'm pregnant! Sorry, but it's not yours. You were out of town that weekend.

4 ) College Tuition: 20K, Books: 2K, First Lesbian Experience: Priceless.

3 ) Sorry you had an affair and got caught.

2 ) Lesbianism: Where going down is not a birthday or anniversary treat.

1 ) Sorry you backed into someone with your car because they were too busy talking on their cell phone and didn't see you coming. ( Yeah, this one really happened today to Rachel. I only wish we lived closer so I could have come over to bring the red wine and dessert. Nothing says I love you and I feel your pain more than a good bottle of wine, a gooey dessert and the company of a dear friend. I'm there in spirit and will be there in body next month, my dear! )

You can reach me at StrapThisOn@aol.com with any free vibrations I missed.


This article shared 1627 times since Wed May 30, 2007
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