Halloween.
The annual 'dress up as your favorite superhero, drag queen, or political statement.' There are so many disasters and tragedies going on in the world right now. This is a time for some much needed release. What could be more fun than dressing up as your favorite non-tragic disaster? So Strap This On for a rocking Halloween:
The Top Ten Costumes to Wear to Show some Other Tragedies in Our Country
10 ) Political official: For Bush, all's you have to do is put a sign in your back pocket stating 'Oil Companies.' Or carry that mug shot of Tom DeLay.
9 ) Favorite fruit or vegetable: This is for the environmentally conscious. Make sure to put on a sticker stating which other country you are truly from.
8 ) Sports figure: Wear a lot of bling, bring an entourage, and do and say anything you please. Disclaimer: Nightspots is not responsible for bailing anyone out of jail for fights incurred by this costume.
7 ) Superhero: In this day and age, a real superhero would be someone that would show themselves as the next candidate. It should be an easy campaign. By the time Bush cowers out of his term, most of the other Republicans should be in jail or out of the country spending the millions they stole.
6 ) Gas Pump: Wear a sign around your neck that says, 'I'll go down on you when my bank account's full.' Ladies, this could be a good way to get a date.
5 ) Cartoon character: Spongebob Squarepants. Tinky Winky. Scooby-Doo. Peppermint Patty. The tragedy here is that the right wing heterosexual nut jobs actually think cartoons are what are wrong with today's youth.
4 ) Naughty Celebrity: Not that any of us truly care about these things, but they're just so easy to make fun of sometimes. Go as Ashlee Simpson. If you have dark hair, wear a blond wig, and vice versa and lip sync to whatever music is playing. Or you could dress up like Angelina Jolie in your favorite jeans and low cut shirt with a big 'A' on it. Yes, I love Angelina too... but please, if you're going to go after someone's husband, why would it be some whiny guy like Brad Pitt.
3 ) Family member: Choose your favorite alcoholic or certifiable relative. This way you can do and say whatever you want and not be responsible for your behavior.
2 ) Job: This should be easy. Wear your diploma around your neck, and keep asking, 'Would you like fries with that?'
1 ) Big Corporation: Just buy a fat suit and go around giving away everyone else's things.
Lisa Rock can be reached at StrapThisOn@aol.com . Robin directed Steel Magnolias at Metropolis Performing Arts. Go to www.metropolisarts.com for more information.
