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  NIGHTSPOTS

Strap This On
by lisa rock
2005-06-01

This article shared 1416 times since Wed Jun 1, 2005
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There's a support group for everything nowadays, it seems. I am a firm believer in there being power in numbers and openly discussing things. It makes us feel good to know we are not alone. After all, I'm a lesbian. There's no such thing as overanalyzing or talking things out too much. Of course, talking things over a la Jerry Springer seems to be the norm today. So, while I applaud the true group therapy setting, I believe some groups in society have been underrepresented. See where you fit in. Write me. Let me know. So Strap This On for June:

The Top Ten Therapy Groups I'd Like to See

10 ) Technology Junkies Anonymous: This is for those people who can't seem to detach their cell phone from their ear and make me listen to their inane conversations by having them in public places like the movie theatre or a restaurant.

9 ) Junk Food Junkies Anonymous: For those who want to stop eating junk food, just watch Super Size Me and they'll never eat it again. Or on the positive, these could be the guinea pigs for new flavored potato chips.

8 ) Reality TV Show Junkies Anonymous: For those who can't get enough of 'real life', I say we televise the session and watch the enrollment go up, up ,up.

7 ) Procrastinators Anonymous: This group doesn't have any members; they never got around to signing up in the first place.

6 ) The Running Late Group Anonymous: This group either never shows up or they show up on Friday for the Tuesday meeting.

5 ) The I'm Always Right and You're Wrong Anonymous: Losers need not apply.

4 ) Narcissistics Anonymous: Run the ad saying: Need to talk about yourself? Seems like no one listens? This is the place for you. Talk freely. Then they only have to put a full length mirror out front and the meeting runs itself.

3 ) Users of Mixed Metaphors Anonymous: Here's the ad: Do you have trouble getting people to come along for the jump? Do you see life through green-colored glasses? This is the group for you!

2 ) Fear of Rest Area Freaks Anonymous: We are definitely not in Kansas anymore, Scarecrow.

1 ) Over Detail-Oriented Workaholics Anonymous: There's a pre-meeting for the meeting and then a post meeting about the meeting with a follow up call to discuss how unorganized everyone was and touch on the highlights of the meeting.

Lisa Rock can be reached at StrapThisOn@aol.com . My red-headed vixen, Robin, is at Metropolis Performing Arts in ( appropriately ) The Vagina Monologues Wednesdays. Go to www.metropolisarts.com for more information.


This article shared 1416 times since Wed Jun 1, 2005
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