Robin and I are about to embark on our much needed annual trip to anywhere warmer than here. We're going back to Florida again this year for a week of relaxation on the beach and a few days of frolicking at Disney World. There are warm sunny days and hot sweaty nights. There's the swimming in the ocean, basking in the sun, and taking long walks on the beach. I hope you all get the chance to go on vacation. If not, go to any party store and decorate your room and pretend you're there. After a few drinks, you may actually believe it.
So Strap this on for May:
The Top 10 Things I Love About Being on Vacation
10) Babe watching on the beach. I'm bringing the binoculars. This goes hand in hand with a little game we play called 'spot the lesbians' or the ones who could be after a few drinks. Very dirty martinis with bleu cheese stuffed olives go well with this view from the balcony activity.
9) Sleeping in every morning and having breakfast in bed (or brunch in our case). Nothing like a bloody Mary with a few shrimp and celery sticks to start off the day.
8) Having sex on the beach. Sex on the beach (the drink) will enhance the experience. It'll also help numb that feeling of sand in various places.
7) Eating fresh seafood every day (or until we reach the limit on the credit card). Frozen margaritas are great with this!
6) Sex in the morning after breakfast/brunch. Banana rum and orange juice is a good pick me up.
5) Checking out the local lesbian bars and bookstores. Go to the bookstores during the day for the directions to the bars at night for the wet T-shirt contests and Jello-shot eaten off your girlfriend's belly contest.
4) Sex in the afternoon after lunch and the afternoon swim (and afternoon cocktail hour of blender drinks).
3) Doing the Disney World thing and realizing how the 'Happiest Place on Earth' wouldn't be running without us. Bring the bottles of orange juice mixed with coconut rum to enhance the Disney going experience.
2) Sex in the evening after we get done shopping for souvenirs (and toys at the local sex shop). We have to try out the new toys. Tequila shots will keep us from hurting each other's sunburns.
1) Putting the suntan lotion on Robin every day (and the aloe gel for the sunburn later). Nothing like a beautiful naked woman covered in oily coconut smelling suntan lotion ... I gotta go. Piña coladas go well with this one.
Lisa Rock is a syndicated columnist based in Chicago and can be reached at StrapThisOn@aol.com .