W always seems poised to distract us. Oh. Sorry. Too big a word for W: poised. I'm sure he couldn't even pronounce it if it were on the teleprompter. But I digress. Gas prices are down. More troops die every day. I'm sure W is attempting to sell more of our jobs overseas or get us deeper into debt. I just read in one of my left-wing, tree-hugging, hippie, liberal magazines how Bush has spent more money in his stolen terms than the last forty-two presidents combined. I guess I won't be paying my credit cards off anytime soon. So Strap This On for Thanksgiving:
The Top Ten Distractions I'm Thankful For
10. Crest's new vanilla mint toothpaste. I feel like I'm doing a column on advertising and consumerism. Note that everything I'm distracted by is mainly either something on television or a product that is sold on television. Nice, huh?
9. Ellen reruns. I still don't understand why they cancelled this. How could this show have been too gay and Will & Grace ran for what, seven years? I saw the episode the other day where Ellen woke up and the whole world was mainly gay. In this administration, I know we'd call that Fantasy Island. But if the show To Tell the Truth came back, we'd see how many in Bush's cabinet and Hollywood are truly ours.
8. Bigelow's cherry vanilla tea. There's nothing like a cup of this on a cold morning. I like mine with a little cream and sugar. And I like the tea that way too.
7. My Name is Earl. A show about a working class guy and his dysfunctional life that grows a conscience that doesn't have to use a bunch of born-again, right-wing Nazi's to show us what's wrong with us.
6. Vanilla flavored massage oil. Spread generously and enjoy.
5. LOGO. Finally, there's a channel for the LGBT community that I don't have to pay for. I love the comedy half hours, videos, and movies. But I especially love the commercials showing the couples as they grew up. Watch it. You'll find something you like.
4. Writing this column. Freedom of speech at it's best.
3. Season two of the L Word that Robin won at a recent event. I like the pause feature on my DVD player. Thank you, ladies.
2. Robin putting on her body lotion after her shower. Well, it was a private moment.
1. Our glass shower door. We've been so busy lately, it seems like a quickie is watching Robin lather up and rinse in the shower.
Lisa Rock can be reached at StrapThisOn@aol.com . I will be in A Christmas Carol at Metropolis Performing Arts Center through December 24. Go to HYPERLINK "http://www.metropolisarts.com"www.metropolisarts.com for more information.