Triplette, which will perform If It Bleeds, It Leads at Metropolis. Pic courtesy of 3lette Productions____________The Feast of St. Valentine is near upon us, dear readers: a day of flowers, chocolate, champagne, candlelight and romance—and don't forget the condoms or dental dam. So, naturally, with a full heart Stage Door Jonny thinks of all those men who've done him wrong. And a few women, too. Oh, yes, dear readers, Jonny was a player in his day.
Be that as it may ( or be that as it was ) , there are numerous special performance events that celebrate Valentine's Day. Some of them take place this coming weekend, just in advance of the day itself, and some are on Valentine's Day proper, Feb. 14. Jonny wants to be sure you know about them so that you and your honey can go spend some money.
If It Bleeds, It Leads—This probably falls in the anti-Valentine's Day category as the three-woman sketch comedy group Triplette holds forth at the Metropolis Performing Arts Centre ( sic ) in Arlington Heights. Given the title, you can kinda sorta figure out where this group's collective satirical head is at. Guys, you've been warned. Show you're man enough to take and go anyway. Feb. 10, 10 p.m. ( and every Saturday through March 10 ) ; 847-577-2121; $15.
Love's Fire—Seven short plays united by themes of love and sex are the bill of fare for this one-performance-only evening, a joint benefit for Season of Concern and the Bohemian Theatre Ensemble. The plays are by Shakespeare, William Finn, Tony Kushner, John Guare, Marsha Norman, Ntozake Shange, Wendy Wasserstein, Mark Lamos and Eric Bogosian so a wide range of tastes, sympathies and genders are sure to be represented. Cocktails and appetizers at 6:30 p.m., show at 7:15 p.m.; Mon., Feb. 12, Theatre Building Chicago; $25; www.bohotheatre.com/buytickets3.htm.
No Love for Love: The Poetry Center of Chicago's Anti-Valentine's Day Show—Well, the title just about says it all, doesn't it, dear readers? National Public Radio star Ira Glass ( This American Life ) will host a show in which nine of city's hippest poets, musicians and spoken-word artists have a field day dissing love or the their lack thereof. Among the performers are Jonny's colleagues Christopher Piatt ( theater editor of TimeOut Chicago ) , and cabaret artist and Reader theater critic Justin Hayford, who no doubt will have some jaundiced tunes of failed romance to purvey. Poetry Center director Lisa Buscani promises 'an evening of bitterness, bile and fun.' Monday, Feb. 12, 8 p.m., Apollo theater; 773-935-6100; $20-$50 ( VIP seating ) .
Chicago College of Performing Arts—The symphony orchestra of Roosevelt University's music conservatory offers a Valentine's Day concert with selections by Samuel Barber, Shostakovich and Richard Strauss among others. Strauss' tone poem, Don Juan, is particularly appropriate to Valentine's Day, although one should remember that the great lover ended up being dragged down to hell. Feb. 14, 7:30 p.m., Harris Theater for Music and Dance; FREE, but reservations suggested; 312-334-7777.
Destiny's Dances—The winter home stand of the Joffrey Ballet opens Feb. 14 with a program of groundbreaking ballets of the 20th century. Among these are works by Leonide Massine, Georges Balanchine and Kurt Joos, danced to music by Tchaikovsky and Stravinsky, among others. None are specifically romantic, although Balanchine's ballet history of the god Apollo is sure to have sex appeal. Besides, everything's beautiful at the ballet—but you knew that. Feb. 14-25, Auditorium Theatre; 312-902-1500 ( or any Ticketmaster location ) ; $25-$130.
Leaving Iowa—This long-running hit comedy about a man rediscovering his heartland roots ( and routes, actually ) to original musical accompaniment offers a special Valentine's Day show with champagne and Hershey's Kisses for all, including a giant Kiss to take away. Bubbly and chocolate at 7 p.m., show at 8 p.m.; Royal George Theatre; 312-988-9000; $37-$43.
Peaches & Popcorn: The Valentine Show—What can you say about singer Peaches and her sax-toting sidekick muse, surely the team that made Las Vegas lounge acts famous? This clever creation of the Von Orthal Puppets is the Mother of All Rock-and-Roll Puppet Shows, featuring Cynthia Von Orthal and musical director Paul Von Mertens ( Poi Dog Pondering ) , and special guests. Valentine's Day, 8 p.m., Prop Thtr, 3502 N. Elston; 773-539-7838. Additional performances Saturdays in February at 11 p.m.
The Yes! Yes! Valentine's Day Show—Sounds breathless, doesn't it? Well, isn't that how love should be? Sometimes that's how theater is, too. This exploration of the high risk of throwing yourself into something new—love—will be created by the Big Theater in the 24 hours directly preceding the show's opening, on Feb. 10, 8 p.m. Wham, bam, thank you, Maam! There will be additional performances on Feb. 11 and Feb. 14; Swim Café, 1357 W. Chicago; 248-921-8869; $10.
