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She Hate Me Advisor Tristan Taromino
by Richard Knight, Jr.
2004-08-04

This article shared 4698 times since Wed Aug 4, 2004
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Tristan Taromino is one busy lesbian. In addition to her weekly Village Voice sex column, 'Pucker Up,' she's a self-described writer, editor, sex educator, fetish model, and porn producer. She can now add 'film advisor' to her resume. Spike Lee, looking for an expert on lesbian sex and relationships to help him with his new film, She Hate Me, was pointed in Taromino's direction. Who better than the author of the bestselling The Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Women and the continuing editor of the Lambda Award-winning, 'Best Lesbian Erotica' series?

WCT: After I read the bio on your Web site ( www.puckerup.com/ ) I thought, 'Gee, I wonder why Spike Lee picked her?'

TT: ( Laughs big )

WCT: What interested you in this film?

TT: You rarely get the opportunity to work with people who aren't in your world. The idea that I was going to get to talk about my experiences and my take on lesbian history and representations of lesbians to someone who was in a completely different world than mine seemed like a huge opportunity.

WCT: Kinda irresistible.

TT: Yeah, yeah and I'd been a fan—I've seen Spike's films and I know his track record, too. People have called him to the mat for being misogynist, for being homophobic and again I thought, 'He knows that, he's read the reviews; he knows the criticisms about him. What is he doing trying to tackle these lesbians?' That seemed gutsy and it seemed like I wanted to be a part of it.

We did some script consultations; I red flagged some stuff, made some notes. I wrote some dialogue that ended up in the film—the scene about cutting the fingernails and the vibrator—that was me.

WCT: Why does that not surprise me?

TT: ( Laughs ) Right! I thought it was something that would bring a level of authenticity to it that straight people could watch but lesbians would go, 'That's totally lesbian.' I thought it was important to sprinkle that in.

So then, before production—I don't usually tell the straight press this but I'll tell you—we had lesbian boot camp ( Laughs ) . That was basically a week where I got to be with all the actresses and have several hours with them. We started with a 250-page packet of reading. Then I talked about lesbian history, culture, community, identity, politics. We did a great day of role-playing and then I had a panel where I got different women from different backgrounds—all lesbians—to come in and introduce themselves and everyone could ask them questions. That was to get the message out that we're all different, we all have different experiences. That was the most powerful part of it for me and I think for these women actresses.

WCT: Were you on the set?

TT: I was on the set making sure the lesbian sex was authentic. Yeah, tough job, pity me! ( Laughs ) I was just there for advice and to answer questions.

WCT: I told Spike I had trouble with the baby-making party. I don't know a lot of lesbians who would want to have the physical act with a straight man or a gay man.

TT: Do I know lesbians who conceived by having sex with a guy? Sure, but times 19 at $10,000 each? A party, the guy dances around naked? No. But that's the movie and I was OK with that because to take that part out is to lose any chance for humor. I like to look at it as really challenging, the notion that all lesbians hate men and want nothing to do with that are, oooh, icked out, because it's not true. We're all a lot more complicated and we all have different fantasies and desires. Whether we act on those for whatever reason—pleasure, procreation—whatever it is—I think that stereotype needs to be put to rest absolutely once and for all. It's a film; it's a movie. I'm OK with the choice he made as a director. Do I think a lot of lesbians are going to be pissed off? Oh, yeah.


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