... THE END IS NEAR!!!! (Please remove your mind from the gutter). I'm talking about the end of heterosexuality as we've known it. How, you ask? This is how.
It appears that a quasi-religious group calling themselves the Raelians have been very busy cloning. They have apparently leapt ahead of most of the science community and actually had success in cloning a human. I thought that was kind of icky until I heard that they did it again. Yes, the Raelians cloned a second human. What made it not so icky was that this clone was for a lesbian couple.
This news made my militant, revolutionary mind run fucking wild. First of all, anyone who gets on television looking the way those Raelians did gets my vote for anything they do, almost. They looked like something from the first season of Star Trek, what with the white robes and funky hairdos and shit. Then I discover that they have always been open to gay marriage. Now, I'm an old fag, so marriage is not a possibility for me. Hell, dating isn't either. But if the kids feel it's necessary, so be it. Anything to fuck with the status quo, I say. And, I think that this cloning thing will do just that. Think about it. If we are now able to clone ourselves, our clones will be gay, right? I mean, they'll be genetically exactly like us, so they should be. This means we can make gay people! And if we can make gay people, we can make heterosexuals obsolete! We don't need to recruit their children anymore, we'll just make our own! We're here! We're queer! We're clones!
I'm old enough to remember when clones were a horrible thing in the queer community. All those guys who had short hair, mustaches, bomber-jackets, jeans and boots were giving us individual fags a bad name. I lived in San Francisco, and it was really scary. It was like being in some twisted version of the Stepford Wives. Little did I know that I would be changing my opinion about clones entirely a few short years later. Furthermore, I hate children. Truly. But even I would have kids to further our cause. This means that we can completely do away with the religious right by simply breeding more and faster. It's a lot less messy than killing them all, which was what I was advocating until now.
So get out those test-tubes and turkey basters, folks! The revolution will not be televised, it will be cloned!
I'd like to wish a happy birthday to Crystal, the only woman I know who can rope a steer; my friend Tracy Baim; David Bowie; Eartha Kitt; and myself, Capricorns all!
Contact moi at: email@example.com