He's nervous and scared, but also quite excited.
Marc Chavez will get on his bicycle Saturday, July 10, to begin the two-day, 190-mile Ride For AIDS Chicago, and he's only thinking about one thing: Finishing it.
Chavez, 41, is a front-desk clerk at Cheetah Gym in Edgewater who truly can relate to the cause, having been living with HIV for more than 10 years.
"I'm doing the ride to help others who are unable to do it … to raise money for so many living with HIV and AIDS. And to prove to myself that if you work hard, you can do anything you set your mind to," said Chavez, who attended Chicago's Schurz High School. "I've never done anything like this before. It's something I've always wanted to do, but never thought I could. But there have been great changes in my life that have brought me to this."
Chavez's last boyfriend was Michael Shelly, and the two were together for three years, off and on, until Shelly committed suicide in December 2005.
"The day I lost Michael I felt a part of me died with him," Chavez said. "I blamed myself for his death and told myself, 'Maybe if I had been more loving to him, instead of self-centered, he'd still be alive.'
"When Michael took his life, my life went with him. I lost my job and my friends. If it weren't for my parents and my friend David who cared for me after Michael's death, I don't think I would be here to tell my story.
"After the smoke of Michael's death cleared, isolation became a part of my life. I stayed in my apartment not talking to anyone. I kept our dogs for a year, but realized I couldn't take care of them because I couldn't even take care of myself."
He eventually gave away the dogs, "and it felt like another three steps back," he said. "I lived with memories of what should have been. I felt lost and alone. Depression was a way of life for me. I didn't sleep, ate only because I had to, and crying was an everyday occurrence. I had a lot on my shoulders because Michael's parents blamed me for his death. But they didn't have to do that—because I blamed myself enough. They prohibited me from attending the wake or funeral. Because of all this, I hated God for a long time. I thought God should have saved Michael. But He didn't. Then, He showed me that life goes on."
And Chavez turned things around, eventually. "All these wonderful things started to change in my life," he said. "I found a suicide survivor support group run by Edmond Yomtoob that helped me understand that I wasn't alone, and I began living again.
"Michael's death has forever changed my life. I will remember him always the way he was."
Chavez, part of the team known as Richard's Riders, has raised more than $1,000 which goes to the Test Positive Aware Network ( TPAN ) , the beneficiary of the Ride.
TPAN certainly is a source of great strength nowadays for Chavez. After all, his boyfriend of the past few months is Jeff Allen, who works for TPAN.
"I know [ the ride ] will be a wonderful experience," Chavez said. "I agreed to do this [ ride ] on the day Jeff Allen walked in to my life. We were having drinks and he brought it up, told me a little about it. I had my concerns, such as the fundraising and training. But surprisingly, I found myself signing up online. And then it became a reality.
"I'm riding in tribute to myself, and others living with HIV/AIDS, especially for those who have lost the battle."
The boyfriend
Allen has been involved with Ride for AIDS Chicago since its inception eight years ago. As a TPAN staff member, he works with a team of volunteers to create a financially successful endurance cycling event that returns 100 percent of donations to charity.
For eight years, the ride has had growth annually in the amount returned to charity and in participation of riders and crew members.
This year's ride has nearly tripled in size from 2009.
"I have participated in Ride For AIDS Chicago as a producer, rider and crew member. Each of these roles, while very different in nature, provides a strong role in giving to the community," Allen said.
"Working on Ride for AIDS Chicago is a true joy. I have the opportunity to see people challenge themselves and reach goals they never thought possible. Marc is one such person, who had not been on a bike in years and saw a possibility of being able to give back in a very bold way. I find myself humbled when our riders reach outside their comfort zones to raise money, train, and complete a two-day, 200-mile bike ride. For many, this is easy; and for others it is a big challenge. For that reason we have Ride co-chairs and Team Leaders working with riders and crew from January through July to assist with training and fundraising. We aim to build camaraderie and supportive networks through different events and workshops throughout the year.
Team spirit
Chavez is one of 25 on Richard's Riders, a record-setting team that has already raised more than $32,000 for TPAN.
Now Richard Cordova—the team leader and namesake—wants to up the ante, and is looking for support from the LGBT community.
Cordova wants to raise $40,000.
"I think it's amazing that we have been able to hit [ the team ] goal [ of $30,000 ] ," Cordova said. "It just shows that when you have a group of people committed to a common goal, you really can make it a reality. I am not surprised because, considering the size of the team, it wasn't a far stretch for us."
The team had donations ranging from $5 to $1,000.
"The key to hitting $30,000 was a combination of using Facebook to really raise awareness, and money, for the cause and reaching out to individuals through hard copy letters, and email campaigns," Cordova said. "I thought for sure the community would have reached out and helped to support our fundraising efforts. I was a little shocked when the anonymous team donations didn't start rolling in [ during the spring ] .
"That said, we have decided to set our sights a little bit higher with a new goal of $40,000. This is going to be challenging because, honestly, there are only so many friends, family, and acquaintances that 25 people have. Going from $30,000 to $40,000 is going to take some help from the community and local businesses. This is a plea from our team to the Chicago LBGTQ community to please reach out and help support this cause.
"The face of HIV/AIDS has changed in the past 20 years, but the disease is still there. The stigma, shame, and needs of those living with the disease persist. My hope is that in reading this people will decide to help us reach our goal. This is an open to call to the community for help in reaching this goal of $40,000."
To donate, visit www.tinyurl.com/RichardsRiders.
Record-setting riders
TPAN announced last week that the 2010 Ride has blasted all prior records, making it the largest RFAC in its history with more than 250 riders and crew members. To date, riders and crew members have raised almost $200,000.
And, on June 30, Chicago city council members passed a resolution saluting the RFAC's 2010 mission and its success. Aldermen Ariel E. Reboyras, Tom Tunney, Ed H. Smith and Mary Ann Smith led the passage of the item.
"We're ecstatic that the Chicago community has made this year's Ride for AIDS Chicago an overwhelming success," said Rick Heintz, a rider and RFAC co-chair. "We're thankful to all the riders and their efforts in raising awareness of HIV and raising funds to support TPAN and the Ride's Community Partners."
Opening and closing ceremonies will take place on the east lawn of Northwestern University's Norris University Center in Evanston, rain or shine. The July 12 opening ceremony begins at 7 a.m., and will feature a performance by the Chicago Spirit Brigade.
The riders will spend Saturday night in Elkhorn, Wis.
