Happy Birthday to Me
WOW! I can't believe that it is already here. Forty years old! It just doesn't seem real to me. In the past several years of continual introspection, facing lifelong 'demons' and stepping outside of my fears, I feel as though I've just started living. Maybe this is what they meant by 'Life begins at 40'. I sense a new book coming on ... 'How I Spent the First 40 Years of My Life With My Head Up My Ass and Didn't Even Know It!' HA ... that would definitely be a bestseller!
Do I feel 40 years old physically? No. Do I look 40 years old? No and what a blessing. Am I where I thought I would be at the age of 40? NO! Am I OK with that? Yes, I finally am. I understand now that there is a divine process for everything! It appears as though the Universe has me attending a crash course to face my fears head on; review my life in all areas of importance—financial, mental, physical, educational, relational, spiritual and recreational and determine what has and has not worked and what I want to do, if anything, about it.
What would your life review look like?
As a result, I have come to acknowledge some very hard truths about myself ... some of them I never would have imagined would reside inside of me. I have compared myself to other people my age; people younger than me; people much older than me ... and you know what I found? We are all on our own personal journeys. No one is better off than anyone else. Where other people may 'outshine' me there are areas where they are also miles behind me.
I used to believe that in order to follow the spiritual path and be a good spiritual being, you had to forego the desire for worldly possessions. I felt if you truly trusted in your higher power that you would always be taken care of and to want success and wealth was not being true to your spiritual path. I've since learned that that way of thinking was completely incorrect. It has kept me in bondage ... financial bondage most of my life. God as I know God ... only wants the best for you ... there is enough to go around; but I had to learn that I deserved to have it just as much as the next person.
I also thought that following a spiritual path meant that you had to 'turn the other cheek' as we are taught Jesus did in the bible. I understand now that it didn't mean allow people to do whatever they want to you; talk to you any kind of way or treat you with disrespect and not say a word about it ... in the name of being spiritual. There is a way for you to put others in their place; set healthy boundaries; pick and choose who you allow in your space and becoming comfortable with ALL parts of myself has allowed me the wisdom and the strength to do that.
As I prepare to begin the next 40 years of my life ... there are a few things that I would like to free from my spirit. I'd like to thank each and every person that has come into my life in whatever capacity; for whatever length of time ... if it wasn't for you and the lessons that you taught me; I wouldn't be where I am today. I'd like to say that I am sorry to anyone that I have hurt intentionally or unintentionally in my interactions with you; I didn't realize the magnitude at the time. I would like to also thank those of you who have allowed me to share my journey ... my life story with you in these columns, in my workshops and in our many one on one coaching sessions. You have taught me a great deal as well.
I want to leave you with this promise: just as I have spent the last 40 years of my life learning, growing ... UP, identifying, struggling, loving, leaving, projecting, protecting ... please know that I will continue to share with you, as long as there is a venue, how to do these very same things yourself. It is you that inspire me to be the best person that I can be ... now I'd like to continue to inspire you as much and as often as I can if you will allow me.
Here's to our next 40 years of growth together. May your life be filled with joy, inner peace, happiness and abundance in ALL areas.
Happy Birthday to me ... .