Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2021-09-01
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  IDENTITY

Purrfectly Speaking
by Anita Charlot
2004-08-01

This article shared 3136 times since Sun Aug 1, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Happy August!

I'm sharing with you again and I hope that it will give someone else a spark of courage. You know how I am always speaking about knowing what makes you happy, what makes your spirit sing and then following that? Well, for the past three months I have been wrestling with standing up to the person that HAD the power to bring me to my knees. I ran from her as long as I could, but my spirit would not rest until I finally stood my ground and faced my biggest opponent ... MY MOTHER! (dun dun dunnnnnnn!)

I could stand up to the president, hell, even Moses himself if I needed to, but Ethel was a whole different story. We had developed the relationship I've always wanted from childhood. How could I possibly disappoint her? How could I run the risk of losing the relationship that I have wanted all of my life? Even though it was based in a false sense of my IDENTITY as far as she was concerned, I willingly played along to keep her happy.

I'm sure some of you know from experience what I've been going through. The pretending not to be at your lover's house when your Mom calls; making up stories as to where you are, where you are going and who you are going with in order to spare their feelings; dropping little hints, hoping she would figure it out and thus you are finally found out so there will be no more hiding. Well, I grew tired of the lies, the deceit, the migraines, the trying to keep up with which story I told last week, etc. It was entirely too much.

I questioned what was keeping me hostage to this lie. Why was I so fearful of being honest with my own mother? I had come clean to her before, why was this time any different? I thought about what the worst-case scenario could be if I were true to myself and whether or not it would be worth it. Trust me, being the Libra that I am, I weighed all options and then made my decision. I decided that NOTHING was worth me going against my spirit for another person.

We had our conversation, she tried the guilt trips and I stood my ground. I explained why I was fearful and how I didn't want to lose our new relationship. I also told her that I would respect her wishes if she had to disconnect from me because of her religion. It felt good to be honest with her, to be open, to go out the exit door of the HELL that I allowed myself to live in for her sake. She gave me the 'oooooh, I have to take my medicine, my pressure has shot up,' my response ... I'm sure it has. Remain true to yourself; you are the only one that can control the hell that you put yourself through by living for others. Say no, and please use your 'Get out of HELL FREE' card. I did ... and I feel sooooo much better.

acharlot69@hotmail.com


This article shared 3136 times since Sun Aug 1, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Pope Francis documentary 'Francesco' to debut March 26 2021-03-16
- Pope Francis—in the news lately because of the Catholic Church's stance that it cannot bless same-sex unions, adding that it is "not licit" to bless relationships that involve sexual activity outside of marriage—is the subject of ...


Gay News

Vatican won't bless same-sex unions 2021-03-15
- The Catholic Church said it cannot bless same-sex unions, adding that it is "not licit" to bless relationships that involve sexual activity outside of marriage, according to an NBC News item. The Congregation for the Doctrine ...


Gay News

WORLD: Bhutan's pro-gay move, LGBTQ+ refugees, official comes out 2020-12-14
- A joint sitting of both houses of Bhutan's parliament approved a bill to legalize gay sex, making the tiny Himalayan kingdom the latest Asian nation to take steps toward easing restrictions on same-sex relationships, Reuters reported. ...


Gay News

MOVIES 'Cicada' flies into virtual film festivals this fall 2020-09-25
- Set in New York City, a queer-centered movie called Cicada is now hitting virtual film festivals and explores complicated relationships with a backdrop of childhood trauma. Ben and Sam meet at a bookstore and a journey ...


Gay News

NUNN ON ONE MUSIC Rufus Wainwright on new album, Pride, future 2020-07-08
- Out and proud performer Rufus Wainwright has always been and continues to be the thinking man's musician. His songs run deep with sometimes heavy lyrics covering topics such as family relationships, politics and religion. For those ...


Gay News

NUNN ON ONE MUSIC Out singer Tom Goss talks newest work, bears, 'Mean Girls' 2020-02-05
- Out singer Tom Goss released his newest album, Territories, in 2019. With the record, he created videos for several singles that spotlight relationships. The LA-based singer-songwriter is known for tackling LGBT issues with his studio albums ...


Gay News

Center for Law and Social Work gives LGBTQ families equal footing 2019-11-13
- According to the Equality Illinois publication Growing Your Family: A Guide for Prospective LGBT Adoptive Parents, there are more than "34,000 same-sex couples in long-term relationships living across the state, and 21 percent of these couples ...


Gay News

Moulin Rouge, A Night with Janis Joplin among Gene Siskel Film Center events 2019-10-29
- OCTOBER SERIES: Screening/Lecture Series: Viewing Positions (through December 10): This series uses a wide variety of films to demonstrate the different relationships that films establish with the viewer, and ...


Gay News

Afterglow opening at Pride Arts Center March 27 2019-02-09
- Chicago, IL - Casting for the Chicago Premiere of AFTERGLOW, an off-Broadway hit from 2017 exploring the emotional, intellectual, and physical connections between three men and the broader implications within their relationships, has been announced by ...


Gay News

Ripe. Letters, by Alan Semrow, seeks to redefine relationships 2018-11-28
- People live in a world of relationships. When one hears "relationship," that person may think boyfriend, spouse or girlfriend. Alan Semrow's latest book seeks to expand one's understanding of what a relationship actually is. Ripe: Letters ...


Gay News

Planned Parenthood Videos Help Parents, Kids Talk About Bodies, Gender, Identities 2018-10-17
- New York, NY — Planned Parenthood Federation of America has launched the first set of videos in a new series for parents and caregivers on how to talk about topics related to bodies, sex, and relationships ...


Gay News

Kenyan director of consumer protection seems to agree with anti-gay laws 2018-07-30
From a Allied Progress press release - WASHINGTON, D.C. — Last week, Kenyan news outlet Mwakilishi.com reported that Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) "Acting Director" Mick Mulvaney appeared to agree with bans on LGBTQ+ intimacy and relationships ...


Gay News

MOVIES Director, writer talk star-studded 'Book Club' 2018-05-15
Special to the online edition of Windy City Times - Cashing in on the book club craze, four seasoned stars have come together to make a movie about relationships and starting anew. Diane Keaton plays Diane who is recently divorced after 40 years of marriage; Jane ...


Gay News

Singer/actress Janelle Monae comes out as queer 2018-04-26
- Singer/actress Janelle Monae has come out as queer. "Being a queer black woman in America, someone who has been in relationships with both men and women—I consider myself to be a free-ass motherfucker," she told Rolling ...


Gay News

COUP/3 program looks at polyamory, relationship ideals 2018-03-27
Special to the online edition of Windy City Times - Emily Dahlquist created a space to express the not-so-typical relationship with its first event, "Exploring Contemporary Relationships + More Love," at Reunion Chicago on March 23. COUP/3 GOALS is a four-session series aimed at creating safe ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.