I was thinking of writing a column about pedophile priests, but after that ABC special, I decided to write a Michael Jackson column instead. I know, big difference.
At his personal amusement park at his Neverland estate, Michael Jackson said he likes to play 'classical music' on the carousel, something like 'Childhood,' or 'Smile,' you know. Or 'People' by Barbra Streisand.'
Does He Include Himself In That Tally Or Not?
Michael said he did not have a lot of girlfriends as a teenager.
He Still Isn't
Jackson said that back as a teenager Tatum O'Neal called him up and invited him over because she wanted to do things with him. However, he was so nervous he laid down on her bed and just hid his face behind his hands, eventually prompting her to leave. Jackson commented, 'I don't think I was ready for some of the things she was talking about.'
He Still Shouldn't
Jackson said that as a teenager he would never look at himself in a mirror.
Master of Understatement, Part I
The Artist Currently Known As Wacko Jacko said 'this interview is strange to some people out there.'
A Web site called Madblast has a game at
www.madblast.com/view.cfm where you have to catch the babies an animated Michael Jackson drops from a balcony, but you have to avoid the red spiders he also drops. In an older version you had to avoid his 'awful records' that he would drop.
If you score really badly on the game you get the following message: 'That was horrible! You must be Michael Jackson. You have horrible parenting skills.'
Master Of Understatement, Part II
One line of Michael's song 'Childhood' goes: 'People say I'm not OK.'
And I Sure As Hell Don't Mean Michael
Michael Jackson admitted that he used a surrogate mother to conceive his youngest child, Prince Michael, II. Well, thank goodness at least there was at least one human being involved in the process.
You Don't Suppose ... ?
Jackson would not identify the mother of his youngest kid. This might just be a coincidence, but it turns out Jacko likes Las Vegas, former Cicero Town President and current felon Betty Loren Maltese used to spend a lot of time in Vegas and owns a house there, and it's not clear where she got all that money to bet all those millions of dollars she wagered out there ...
Maybe He Should Start
Michael said that he has had only two nose jobs, and that he has had absolutely no other plastic surgery done to his face.
I Am Sure He Did Not Mean That As It Sounded
Michael was filmed telling one of his adolescent male guests at Neverland that he was planning on building a water park on his property 'so you can come in your swimsuit.'
The guy who interviewed Jackson told him that when he asked the singer's son where his 'mummy' was, the kid replied that he did not have a mother. When asked to comment, Jerkson said, 'Like he said, he doesn't have a mother.' I dunno, contrary to his statement, it seems like good ol' Mikey kinda qualifies as a real 'mother' himself.
If you are the offspring of Michael Jackson and Betty Loren Maltese, you can e-mail me at DaveInChicago773@aol.com .