Byrne Baby Byrne
If you ever get tired waiting for the seemingly endless line of politicians in the parade, blame former Mayor Jane Byrne who broke the hetero politician barrier when she called parade organizers to march in the parade because of the support she received from the gay community in her unsuccessful reelection bid. That's what we get supporting a politician just because she looks and acts like a drag queen.
Food For Thought
The restaurant Buca di Beppo had a float that got my attention for some reason, but as near as I can figure out from my quickly scribbled, almost illegible notes, it might have had something to do with sideburns and Nosferatu, even though I have no recollection of seeing Elvis making out with Count Dracula.
The Three-Way Stooges?
WCIU-TV, Channel 26, known as 'The U,' had a sign saying 'U'z Got Mo's' to advertise the channel's showing of The Three Stooges.
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Truth In Parade Advertising
The float for ComQuest, a company specializing in cellular and other forms of communication, was experiencing technical difficulties with its sound system.
Talk About 'Versatile'
A drag queen in a bright pink dress, white wig and white boa, and riding in a convertible, held a sign that said 'Blow Me, Clarence Thomas' on one side, and 'Eat My Pussy, Scalia' on the other. [Unfortunately it got him in trouble with his company—see Windy City Times for details.]
I Demand A Refund
The ever-popular guys from R.O.T.C did not stop to perform in front of where I was watching the parade.
Safe Sex
Some people from Lambda Legal Defense And Education Fund carried signs saying 'You Make Love. We Make It Legal.'
Size Queen
Domino's Pizza had a float with the sign 'We Have The Best 12' In Town.'
Drag Queen Tit For Tat—
Part One
I usually do not stay for the 'It's Just Bingo, Bitch' bingo games after the dance classes on Mondays at Charlie's because of my work schedule, but I did the Monday after Pride, and both Lauren Jacobs and Frida Lay were kind enough to say to the crowd how much they liked my column, and that it was 'funnier than shit.' Then, in true drag queen fashion they asked why I never mentioned them in the column. Well, when will I start winning prizes at bingo?
Drag Queen Tit For Tat—
Part Two
I did end up winning one of the last games of the night, netting a blender, booze and drink mix. What else could I say but 'Well, now I guess I do have to mention you in my column.'
I'm So Sorry, I Left My Ass In My Other Pair Of Jeans
After getting a birthday boy to bare his butt to the crowd, Lauren and Frida urged guys who had won bingo prizes to do the same. Lauren mentioned that I had just won a game, but she picked up from the look I gave her that I wasn't going to be joining the 'moonies.'
If you have fabulous prizes you would like me to win, e-mail me at DaveInChicago773@aol.com .