Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Pre-order Book!
Pre-order Book!
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  NIGHTSPOTS

Pretzel Logic
by David J. Magdziarz
2003-07-30

This article shared 1561 times since Wed Jul 30, 2003
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


What do Luther Vandross, Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein have in common? Well, roses are red, Luther turned blue, read this week's Pretzel Logic, and I'll explain it to you.

Stroke Of Luck

Luther Vandross' new CD debuted at the top of the charts for the first time in his career. This happened as he released a new CD while in intensive care after suffering a stroke. Stroke Of Genius

Luther's CD is so absolutely awful ('Buy Me A Rose' was hideous when Kenny Rogers did it a few years back, and it's not any better here) that I would not be shocked to find out he faked the stroke to get sympathy sales.

Weapons Of Mass Delusion?

unning out of places to look, fewer and fewer U.S. troops are being deployed to look for Saddam Hussein's ever-elusive weapons of mass destruction. If Bush can't find any, will he have to give Iraq back?

Sodom Hussein

The Weekly World News tabloid ran a recent cover story with the headline 'Saddam & Osama In Love!' The story included a photo of a reclining Saddam resting his head on a smiling Osama bin Laden's chest. Saddam's left hand reaches back to caress Osama's neck, while Osama is holding a rose in his right hand.

Still Strokin'

The story doesn't say whether Luther Vandross's version of 'Buy Me A Rose' was 'their song.'

Saddamite

The story alleges that in 1968 Saddam starred in a gay porn film called 'La'iba al-Waladaani' ('The Two Boys Played'), as well as up to 85 other such films, mostly under stage names such as 'Omar Studdif.'

Pass The Lube And The 'Kleenex'

The story said that 'President Bush is carefully watching the perverted madman's antics.' Hmmm, do you suppose he's giving those gay porn films of Saddam a real long, hard look?

Size Queen Saddam

Supposedly, Saddam complained to Osama that: 'You are like the beak of a hummingbird or the straw from the bale . . . too paltry to bring me pleasure.' So we know who was the top and who was the bottom.

Oh, Sama!

The same damn story says Osama likes the company of goats and camels because they do not laugh at his 'teeny weeny.' The story also says an unnamed government source called the photo of Osama and Saddam 'the first hard evidence to prove' the Osama/Saddam love affair. Given Osama's supposedly miniature minaret, the evidence might be hard, but there's still not much there.

A Job For The Vice Squad

Since the military is having no luck finding Saddam or Osama, maybe Bush should call in the cops who busted John Lawrence and Tyron Garner to arrest Saddam and Osama while they are having sex in their tent.

Freedom Of The Press

The same issue of the Weekly World News also contains cover stories about a duck hunter being arrested for shooting an angel, and a church group that wants the Vatican to declare the Three Stooges to be saints.

If you have photos of President Bush wearing nothing but his cowboy boots (hat optional) as he watches Saddam's gay porn videos, e-mail them to me at DaveInChicago773@aol.com .

If you have gay porn photos of Luther Vandross with Saddam Hussein (or anybody else), sorry, I don't have e-mail.


This article shared 1561 times since Wed Jul 30, 2003
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email





Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Pride Parade coordinator provides latest on the 'likely scenario' for event 2021-05-08
- Tim Frye, the coordinator of the 2021 Pride Parade, told Windy City Times that the assessment of this year's event has not changed over the last few weeks. The official statement/assessment at this point is: "We ...


Gay News

OUTspoken Storytelling to host tales from LGBTQ perspectives Nov. 10 2020-11-01
--From a press release - Another exciting OUTspoken Storytelling Night will offer the perspective of four Chicagoans telling life's stories from their LGBTQ+ viewpoint or that of their close friends and relatives, Tuesday, Nov. 10, starting at 7 p.m. on Zoom. ...


Gay News

Arts in the Dark Halloween Parade, this year a drive-through 2020-10-26
--From a Chicago Park District press release - CHICAGO: LUMA8, in collaboration with the Department of Cultural Affairs and Special Events (DCASE), the Chicago Park District and Presenting Sponsor, the Blommer Chocolate Company, is pleased to announce Arts in the Dark - an UPSIDE ...


Gay News

Nightlines 1990-2001, Nightspots 2001-2015 2020-09-30
- Throughout the 1990s, Nightlines focused on the LGBTQ entertainment scene, from the bars to the stage and everything in between. With the new millennium came a significant format change as Nightspots focused in on the bar ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Former Northalsted bartender Eric Sangster dies at 37 2020-09-27
- Northalsted bartender Eric Sangster died Sept. 17 unexpectedly at the age of 37. At the time of this article's publication, Sangster's cause of death is unknown. Sangster was born June 4, 1983, on a Jacksonville, North ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Gay business owner/nightlife figure Bob Yeaworth dies 2020-09-20
- Gay business owner and promoter Robert "Bob" Yeaworth died Sept. 14 from complications due to his ALS (also known as Lou Gehrig's disease) diagnosis. He was 64. Yeaworth was born Sept. 17, 1955 in Cincinnati, Ohio, ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Medusa's owner Dave Shelton passes away 2020-08-19
- Dave Shelton, a.k.a. Dave "Medusa" Shelton—so named for his trademark frizzy locks— "just was different," recalled his good friend of 45 years, Richard Cooke. Shelton was the proprietor of the iconic nightspot Medusa's on Sheffield in ...


Gay News

Gerber/Hart fall benefit Sept. 12-13 2020-08-08
- The Gerber/Hart Library and Archives fall benefit—"Saving LGBTQ History: Archives in a Time of Activism"—will take place Sept. 12-13 at the venue, 6500 N. Clark St. On those days, there will be a series of 90-minute ...


Gay News

Holocaust Museum's virtual soiree Sept. 2 2020-08-06
- On Wed., Sept. 2, Illinois Holocaust Museum & Education Center's Women's Leadership Committee will host its annual soirée virtually. The event will stream live from a studio with a star-studded line-up featuring a musical performance by ...


Gay News

Virtual OPALGA+ scholarship gala slated for Oct. 24 2020-08-06
- OPALGA+/Oak Park Area Lesbian & Gay Association will hold a virtual scholarship gala Saturday, Oct. 24, at 7 p.m. The event will feature video clips from the organization's scholarship winners, the Founder's Award celebration and opportunities ...


Gay News

La Cage aux FUN, opening weekend at A-ville's The Bird Cage 2020-07-22
- Photos by Joseph Stevens Photography ...


Gay News

Survey open for potential Boystown name change 2020-07-21
- Northalsted Business Alliance is asking for the public to weigh in on the "Boystown" moniker. The Alliance has published a survey asking community members' opinions on the Lake View neighborhood, which was officially designated an "LGBTQ+ ...


Gay News

Petition urges Boystown name change 2020-07-08
- An online petition launched late in June is demanding that the "Boystown" neighborhood designation be changed to a term that is more inclusive of the entire LGBTQ community. The petition—which is on Change.org and was authored ...


Gay News

Last call for Little Jim's 2020-07-05
- Longtime Lake View tavern Little Jim's shut its doors July 2. Billing itself as "the original hookup bar," Jim Gates opened Little Jim's in 1975, and it was one of the first gay bars in the Boystown area. Gates sold the ...


Gay News

COVID-19 Replay closes July 5-6 after employee tests positive 2020-07-05
- The restaurant Replay Andersonville, 5358 N. Clark St., is closing July 5-6 after owner Mark Liberson posted on Facebook that an employee tested positive for COVID-19. On July 5, Liberson posted, "While this post is not ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 

 

 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.