As I mentioned in the last Pretzel Logic, in February of this year I traveled to Normal, IL to see ( heterosexual ) country music cutie Brad Paisley perform, and to meat him ( oops, I meant 'meet him' ) at a fan club Meet & Greet before the show. This column continues where the last one left off.
A Quickie With Brad
The Meet & Greet was after the show, not before, and I was one of the last of about a dozen fan club members to meet him. I was shown into Brad's dressing room ( impure thoughts, anyone? ) where there was just him standing in the middle of the floor ( and looking tired and quite a bit thinner than I expected ) and his manager. Brad shook my hand, asked for my name so he could sign an autograph, which he did as his manager had me explain how my digital camera worked, and they then took the photo and ushered me out the door, and it all took maybe 60 seconds, if I was lucky.
I didn't get lucky with him either, in spite of my impure thoughts.
I predicted to some friends of mine prior to the concert date that the Meet & Greet would be a bunch of straight women and me. It turned out it was a bunch of straight women ( one of whom had her husband with her ) and me.
Maybe I Could Clone Brad From The Sweat He Left On My Arm
Brad and I did have our arms around each other for the photo.
I was torn between never washing my right arm again and licking all the skin off of it.
Not That I Would Embellish The Story As I Retell It...
I was shown into Brad's dressing room, and as our eyes connected I could swear that when I glanced down I saw a bulge grow inside his tightly packed jeans. Brad, looking buff and beefy, seemed annoyed that his manager stayed in the room. And was that my imagination, or did Brad squeeze my ass as his manager took that photo?
Not That That Would Have Been A Turn On For Me Or Anything
I was sort of hoping I might have the opportunity to 'accidentally' bump one my boots next to Brad's, but it was all over so quick I didn't even think to try.
The Bois From Illinois
When Brad introduced his band during the show, he got louder and louder cheers as it was revealed that each member of the band was from a different city from Illinois. While waiting to meet Brad, one of his band members admitted that they change the cities the band members are 'from' depending on what state they are in.
Not That I Would Embellish The Story As I Re-Retell It...
I was lead into Brad's dressing room, where he was waiting for me in nothing but his cowboy boots and hat. Our tongues intertwined, my boots caressed his boots and he returned the favor, and when I left 30 hot'n'sweaty minutes later I had an autographed photo of Brad and memories that'll last a lifetime.
If you too think that Mr. Paisley is pretty you can e-mail me at PretzelLogicDave@aol.com and share fantasies.
If you are Brad Paisley's attorney, you can e-mail me at .ForValuableConsiderationReceivedIBradPaisleyHerebyReleaseDavidMagdziarzFromAnyLiabilityArisingOutOfHisHormoneAndCowboyBootInducedSexualFantasiesAboutMe@IHaveNoIntentionsOfSuingYou.com