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Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-12-13



Pretzel Logic
by David J. Magdziarz

This article shared 1689 times since Wed Dec 29, 2004
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A year ago I was thinking that it seemed as if 2003 had just barely started, and now it's New Year's Eve week of 2004 and again it seems as if the year is just a few months old, so maybe this is really December of 2003, but regardless, here's a New Year's Eve column for 2003 or 2004 -- take your pick.

Grammatically Correct, But Unpopular

A recent Google search turned up only 3,880,000 hits for "New Year's Eve," while "New Years Eve" and "New Years' Eve" each got 7,470,000.

Old New Year's Eve

The Babylonians first celebrated the arrival of the New Year about 4,000 years ago, but did so not in January, but at the time of the first New Moon after the Vernal Equinox ( i.e. after the first New Moon in spring ) , and the festivities lasted 11 days.

Who Knew That Hoosiers Were Descended From The Ancient Babylonians?

The ancient Babylonians introduced the practice of making New Year's Resolutions, with the most popular one being to return borrowed farm equipment.

When In Rome - Part One

The Romans established January 1 as the start of the New Year back around 153 B.C., and when Julius Caesar established the Julian Calendar in 46 B.C., he kept January 1 as the start of the New Year, but the year 47BC was extended to a total of 445 days so that the calendar and the cycle of the sun would be in sync once again.

Gimme That Old-Time Religion - Part One

The early Christian Church condemned the Romans' celebration of the New Year as paganism, proving that blue-nosed Christian fundamentalists have always been around and have never been any fun.

As A Holiday, New Year's Is A Cut Above All The Others

Some Christian denominations celebrate January 1 as the Feast of Christ's Circumcision.

You Do Have To Get Down On Your Knees

Does that make feasting on foreskin a religious act?

A Rose By Any Other Nameā€¦ Would Be An Orange

The Tournament of Roses Parade, held on January 1, dates back to 1886, when members of the Valley Hunt Club decorated their carriages with flowers to celebrate the ripening of the orange crop in California.

When In Rome - Part Two

Although the Rose Bowl football game was first played as a part of the Tournament of Roses in 1902, it was replaced by Roman chariot races the following year.

Gimme That Old-Time Religion - Part Two

Because the Greeks used a baby in a basket as a symbol for the god Dionysus, the early Christian bluenoses also condemned as a pagan practice the use of a baby as a symbol of the New Year.

Ve Haf Vays Uf Making You Haf Ein Happy Neu Jahr

The image of a baby with a banner wrapped around him to represent the New Year was first used by the Germans back in the 14th Century.

It's Lucky To Puke Your Guts Out In An Alcoholic Stupor?

New Year's parties have their origin in the belief that you could affect your luck in the New Year by what you were doing at the very start of the year.

Country Music Cutie Brad Paisley Is Tall, Has Dark-Haired, And I Always Wanted To Get Lucky With Him

Another traditional New Year's belief was the idea that the first person to visit you in the New Year could bring either good or bad luck, with tall, dark-haired men being especially lucky.

If you are Brad Paisley you need to have farm equipment returned to you, e-mail me at and I'll be glad to give you a plow ( or at least a good plowing ) .

This article shared 1689 times since Wed Dec 29, 2004
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