Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2022-12-07
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  NIGHTSPOTS

Pretzel Logic
by David J. Magdziarz
2004-08-18

This article shared 1626 times since Wed Aug 18, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


It's not like my tax guy said that I might have a better shot at claiming my recent trip down south as a business expense if I were to write two columns about New Orleans, it's just that… that… er, that I had so much material I wasn't able to fit it all in my last column. Yeah, that's it.

Camping It Up, Y'all

The Confederate Museum, in New Orleans, is on Camp Street.

Creepy Too Boot

The only pair of civil war soldier's boots on display at the museum were from a soldier, Alexander Dimitri (or was that 'Dimitri Alexander?'), who was killed in battle, buried on the spot, and later properly reburied. Since Alexander's body and uniform were exceptionally well preserved, his boots and other personal effects were kept out for educational purposes. I have referred to my fondness for guys in boots on numerous occasions, but Confederate cadaver boots ain't sexy.

Promise?

Walking around New Orleans with some friends, we went into an adult bookstore. When the salesclerk saw my digital camera, he said 'If you start taking any pictures I'll tie you up in a heartbeat.'

Mr. Roboto

The two lamest street performers I saw in New Orleans were a pair of robotic cowboys. Their metallic silver makeup was always partially wiped away, they never stood still for more than a minute or two, and they were often taking breaks to either have a snack or to go into the nearest bar.

Tarot Time

Speaking of lame, cowboy-booted New Orleans street performers, I had my tarot cards read by the only boot-wearing tarot card reader in Jackson Square, who pretty much got everything wrong. He asked if I was a truck driver (I once blew a guy in a pickup truck a few years back, but I don't think that counts); insisted that I was given a red truck as a special gift (tarot trucker fetish?); was sure I had more than one brother (my only brother passed away last year); and who then said 'And you have no sisters, correct?' I have two.

Pretzel Logic By Dianne Magdziarz?

The tarot guy asked me whether or not I was straight — the cowboy boot tattoo on my shoulder was probably a clue to the booted, probably gay himself tarot guy. While he got that I was gay, his boots must have been fitting waaaaaaaaaaay to tightly, because he then asked if I had ever considered the whole transsexual thing.

Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

For the record: no.

It's A Crime

While checking out of my hotel in New Orleans I also checked out a large group of mostly cute police officers from all over the South who were checking out too. Not once did I see any of these cops during my three nights at the hotel, proving there's never a cop around when you need one.

No Shit

I had a deluxe sleeper car on my return Amtrak trip from New Orleans, and it included a combination toilet/shower stall. As a friend of mine said: 'It brings a whole new meaning to 'shit, shower and shave.'

Or Was That Mary-Land?

OK, I never really went to New Orleans. I actually went to New Jersey to meet this hot guy named Jim who I met in the Garden State Gay Gov M4M chat room on AOL.

If you're New Jersey Governor James McGreevey, you can e-mail me at DaveInChicago773@aol.com .


This article shared 1626 times since Wed Aug 18, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Touche Chicago's 45th-anniversary celebration marred by racist performance 2022-11-03
- Racist performance mires Touche Chicago's 45th anniversary celebration By Carrie Maxwell On Nov. 1, the leather, fetish and bear-focused Touche Chicago celebrated its 45th anniversary with a feature performance by ...


Gay News

Howard Brown Health's Big Orange Ball has 'Saturday Night Fever' theme 2022-10-27
- Howard Brown Health's Big Orange Ball was back in-person at Park West on Oct. 22—this time with a big (not orange) disco ball. About 300 people brought their Halloween spirit to the event, dressed in costumes ...


Gay News

'Martinis That Matter' to honor former TPAN CEO Jeff Berry on Oct. 30 2022-10-19
- Marty's Martini Bar, 1511 W. Balmoral Ave., presents "Martinis That Matter," a community giving-back program that funds community groups, charities and organizations. Profits from the sales during these events go to the organizations hosting. On Sunda ...


Gay News

'Barlesque' launches at Sidetrack 2022-09-03
- On Sept. 1 at Northalsted/Boystown nightspot Sidetrack, Barlesque kicked off. Nightlife figure Khloe Daniels hosted, introducing this year's bars, performers and choreographers. Barlesque brings Chicago nightlife superstars, local bars and ...


Gay News

TPAN bringing back 'Barlesque' starting Sept. 1 2022-08-25
- Barlesque is back. On Thursday, Sept. 1, at 7 p.m. at Northalsted/Boystown nightspot Sidetrack, 3349 N. Halsted St., Barlesque will kick off. Nightlife figure Khloe Daniels will host introduce this year's bars, performers and choreographers. Attendanc ...


Gay News

Touche holds fundraiser for Windy City Times 2022-07-12
- Leather bar Touche, 6412 N. Clark St., held its regular Friday fundraiser on July 8—and the fortunate recipient this time was Windy City Times. Approximately $200 were raised during this benefit raffle. Touche has been a ...


Gay News

Pride Journey: Iceland 2022-03-21
- The only way to describe Iceland is ... magical. It truly is. Iceland is like no other place I've visited in the world. It's topography, climate, people, culture, history, and nightlife blended together make Iceland a ...


Gay News

PASSAGES Jeffrey Wayne ("Jef") Morgan 2022-01-11
- Jeffrey Wayne "Jef" Morgan, of Chicago's West Rogers Park neighborhood, passed away unexpectedly from a heart attack while shoveling snow on Jan. 2. He was 58. Jef was the well-loved manager at Little Jim's on ...


Gay News

'Andersonville Homecoming' Sept. 24-26; line-up, vendors, safety protocols announced 2021-09-15
--From a press release - CHICAGO (Sept. 15, 2021) The Andersonville Chamber of Commerce (ACC) is pleased to announce the full entertainment line-up and vendors for Andersonville Homecoming--a three-night, two-day outdoor festival featuring ...


Gay News

Next OUTspoken show Sept. 7 2021-08-24
- An OUTspoken Storytelling Night taking place Tuesday, Sept. 7, will offer tales told by six people who will relate their stories of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective. The entertainment will start at 7 p.m. ...


Gay News

Taste of River North cancelled 2021-07-29
- On July 29, the River North Residents Association, along with theMART and Duff Entertainment, announced the cancellation of the 2021 edition of Taste of River North. The event was slated to take place Aug. 20-21 at ...


Gay News

OUTspoken storytelling to host six takes from LGBTQ+ perspective 2021-07-26
--From a press release - The month of August is hot - but OUTspoken at the Sidetrack will be even hotter on Aug. 3 when six storytellers will tell tales of fun and fortune from a LGBTQ+ perspective! The program will start at 7:00 pm at ...


Gay News

LGBTQIA+ tavern to open in Uptown this fall 2021-07-14
- 2Bears Tavern Group—which owns and operates Andersonville's The SoFo Tap and Meeting House Tavern as well as Rogers Park's Jackhammer—is opening 2Bears Tavern Uptown in the former Nick's on Wilson space at 1140 W. Wilson Ave. ...


Gay News

Pride Parade coordinator provides latest on the 'likely scenario' for event 2021-05-08
- Tim Frye, the coordinator of the 2021 Pride Parade, told Windy City Times that the assessment of this year's event has not changed over the last few weeks. The official statement/assessment at this point is: "We ...


Gay News

OUTspoken Storytelling to host tales from LGBTQ perspectives Nov. 10 2020-11-01
--From a press release - Another exciting OUTspoken Storytelling Night will offer the perspective of four Chicagoans telling life's stories from their LGBTQ+ viewpoint or that of their close friends and relatives, Tuesday, Nov. 10, starting at 7 p.m. on Zoom. ...


 




Copyright © 2022 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor


 

Sponsor


Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.