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  NIGHTSPOTS

Pretzel Logic
by Peter Mavrik
2004-05-12

This article shared 1538 times since Wed May 12, 2004
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Drunks, drag queens, log cabins, leather shirts, and more all make appearances in this week's installment of Pretzel Logic loopiness.

Batten Down The Hatches

Anne and Elizabeth Hatch, the 21 and 22-year old daughters of Minnesota Attorney General Mike Hatch, were recently arrested outside of Crobar here in Chicago after they allegedly (of course) got upset after being told they had been over served, were kicked out of the bar, tried to reenter, said to the officers 'who the fuck are you talking to… we're not leaving, ran at a Chicago police officer with raised hands and then striking him in the face with an open hand and knocking off his glasses, jumped on the back of another officer, and kicked out a squad car window. When did Mike Hatch adopt the Bush twins?

He Was Probably Looking For New Pickup Lines

Earlier this year, womanizing scumbag and California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger volunteered to take a two-hour course on sexual harassment.

Maybe She Should Just Stop Singing

At a recent concert at an Austin, Texas rodeo, a representative for the first American Idol winner, Kelly Clarkson, asked the rodeo staff 'Can you please do something about the smell in here?!'

This Could Ensure That The Amendment Passes

The Log Cabin Republicans just began a million dollar campaign to defeat the proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage.

Draggin' My Heart Around – Part One

The fabulous, entertaining, funny, and outrageous drag queens Lauren Jacobs and Frida Lay recently celebrated two great years of 'It's Just Bingo Bitch' at Charlie's, giving away over $3,000 worth of extremely nice prizes to the packed audience. Congratulations to both you girls for a job very well done.

Draggin' My Heart Around – Part Two

Contrary to rumors, the above-referenced brazen plug of 'It's Just Bingo, Bitch' at Charlie's (every Monday, starting sometime around 11:00 PM) had nothing to do with the fact that both Frida and Lauren mentioned at their anniversary event that Pretzel Logic was their favorite column.

Draggin' My Heart Around – Part Three

And contrary to those other rumors, this third and totally gratuitous bit of free print for Lauren Jacob's and Frida Lay's Monday night bingo bitchfest had nothing to do with the fact that at their anniversary celebration I won a $125 Stoli gift basket that included vodka (of course, a set of Stoli glasses, a gift certificate to the Kit Kat Lounge and enough Easter candy to totally undo any potential benefits of the 14-month gym membership I paid for earlier the same day.

Your Ad Here – Part One

However, the above two disclaimers notwithstanding, that doesn't mean I can't be easily bribed.

It Might Become The Only Shirt I Ever Wear

At Frida and Lauren's big event I wore a gray leather western shirt, and at least a dozen people commented on and/or asked to feel the shirt as I was wearing it. The shirt made by Brett, a friend of mine, who is about to start up his own business, O Leathers, including having a booth at this year's IML.

Your Ad Here – Part Two

See, I told you so.

If you have any good dirt about two drunken, crazy, off-the-wall whackos (or the Hatch sisters), feel free to e-mail me at DaveInChicago773@aol.com . (Paypal, money orders, checks and/or cash all gladly accepted.)


This article shared 1538 times since Wed May 12, 2004
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