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  NIGHTSPOTS

Pretzel Logic
by David J. Magdziarz
2004-03-03

This article shared 1859 times since Wed Mar 3, 2004
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From the Super Bowl to not-so-super banks, here's the latest Pretzel Logic lowdown.

The Superb Bowl

OK, it's long after the Super Bowl and everyone in the universe has written about Janet Jackson's jugs, but in the name of equal time, could the people who organize the Super Bowl please arrange to have country cutie Brad Paisley experience a "wardrobe

malfunction" with his blue jeans at half-time next year? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?

This Timber Has Termites

OK, it's long after the Super Bowl and everyone in the universe has written about Justin Timberlake and his exposing Janet Jackson's areola

borealis, but has anyone else noticed that Justin Timberlake looks and sounds like a young, bearded Tom Hanks doing a bad Stevie Wonder impersonation?

Surreal Spammer

A quote from some spam I recently received: "The truth: perceptions gives birth to segregated applet, hole prefers no belching swearing. Thesedays, marinades relies on spherical belch, copy of Razzle gropes no M-Saunders's halfpennyworth. According to me, break will admits responsibility for gigantic hairbrushes, cows of green bogs." Who knew that George W. Bush was a spammer?

Your Spell Checker Has Been Suspended

Subject line of an e-mail scam that should fool nobody: "your accuont has been ssuepdned"

Shitibank?

The text of

another recent

e-mail, this one supposedly

coming from Citibank: "_Dear CitibankOnline Card_holders, This_ email_ was se-nt by t_he _Citibank sevrers to

veerify your_ _E-MAIL_ address. You must ceoptlme this pscores by clicking on_the link _below_ and enteering in the small _window_ your _citibank _Debit_ full card_nummber and PIN that _you use in the Atm machine. This_is donne for Your pertcotion -o- becaurse some of_our membres no lgoner have acescs to their email adsersdes and we must verify it." Well, as long as they are sending this out for my own

pertcotion.

The Crusade Is Dumber Than Ever

If you get put on hold while calling Citicorp Trust Bank, FSB, one thing you hear on the recorded hold

message is the slogan "The crusade is stronger than ever," and it goes on about their campaign to wipe out debt. Good thing there isn't a war going on in the Middle East, or the use of that slogan might seem kinda stupid.

If you have ever been screwed over by any Shiticorp-related entity, e-mail me at DaveInChicago773@aol.com . If you're a representative of Shiticrap, go fuck yourself.


This article shared 1859 times since Wed Mar 3, 2004
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