From the Super Bowl to not-so-super banks, here's the latest Pretzel Logic lowdown.
The Superb Bowl
OK, it's long after the Super Bowl and everyone in the universe has written about Janet Jackson's jugs, but in the name of equal time, could the people who organize the Super Bowl please arrange to have country cutie Brad Paisley experience a "wardrobe
malfunction" with his blue jeans at half-time next year? Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?
This Timber Has Termites
OK, it's long after the Super Bowl and everyone in the universe has written about Justin Timberlake and his exposing Janet Jackson's areola
borealis, but has anyone else noticed that Justin Timberlake looks and sounds like a young, bearded Tom Hanks doing a bad Stevie Wonder impersonation?
A quote from some spam I recently received: "The truth: perceptions gives birth to segregated applet, hole prefers no belching swearing. Thesedays, marinades relies on spherical belch, copy of Razzle gropes no M-Saunders's halfpennyworth. According to me, break will admits responsibility for gigantic hairbrushes, cows of green bogs." Who knew that George W. Bush was a spammer?
Your Spell Checker Has Been Suspended
Subject line of an e-mail scam that should fool nobody: "your accuont has been ssuepdned"
The text of
e-mail, this one supposedly
coming from Citibank: "_Dear CitibankOnline Card_holders, This_ email_ was se-nt by t_he _Citibank sevrers to
veerify your_ _E-MAIL_ address. You must ceoptlme this pscores by clicking on_the link _below_ and enteering in the small _window_ your _citibank _Debit_ full card_nummber and PIN that _you use in the Atm machine. This_is donne for Your pertcotion -o- becaurse some of_our membres no lgoner have acescs to their email adsersdes and we must verify it." Well, as long as they are sending this out for my own
The Crusade Is Dumber Than Ever
If you get put on hold while calling Citicorp Trust Bank, FSB, one thing you hear on the recorded hold
message is the slogan "The crusade is stronger than ever," and it goes on about their campaign to wipe out debt. Good thing there isn't a war going on in the Middle East, or the use of that slogan might seem kinda stupid.
If you have ever been screwed over by any Shiticorp-related entity, e-mail me at DaveInChicago773@aol.com . If you're a representative of Shiticrap, go fuck yourself.