With a little lesbian levity and a heap of homo humor, here's a Pretzel Logic that has something for almost everyone.
Lesbian Lactose Alert
Burger King has an official policy allowing breastfeeding in its restaurants. So remember ladies, order up that milkshake!
Give A Hoot
While we're on the subject, do lesbians ever go to Hooters to check out the women working there? And do gay guys go to Hooters to check out the straight guys who go there to check out what the lesbians would check out if lesbians went there?
Ladies Who Lunch
Actual newspaper story headline: 'Beyond Cookies: Girls hunt beavers.'
In an article about the use of 'Viagra' by women, Dr. Lauren Striecher of Northwestern Memorial Hospital said, '(A woman's libido) is very much interconnected with environmental, psychological, hormonal and physical things—as well as relationships—and you can't separate them into little compartments. They all interact and come together.' And then they smoke a cigarette.
Saying A Mouthful
In a recent study, researchers discovered that testosterone levels in the saliva of straight men went up 30% after spending five minutes with an attractive female research assistant. A similar test on gay men who were left alone with an attractive male research assistant for five minutes would also show the gay men's saliva had a 30% increase in the level of testosterone ... but oddly enough it would be the testosterone of the attractive male research assistant.
Panic At Little Jim's
Actual newspaper story headline: 'Older men warned to go easy on testosterone.' And that includes that of attractive male research assistants.
I Hope He Goes Easy On The Testosterone
Yet another actual newspaper story headline, on the very same page as the one mentioned above: 'Plans begin for huge Buddha to rise again.'
Is That A Snorkel In Your Wetsuit Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Geologists have found, on the bottom of Lake Michigan, a grove of prehistoric tree stumps that were covered by the rising lake 8,300 years ago. Geologists found the grove of trees by following the gay scuba divers who go there to cruise.
The Name Is Bond, Jane Bond
Scotsmen recently had their kilts in a bunch over an EU requirement that kilt manufacturers had to report the number of kilts they produced using a form that did not allow them to classify the garment as men's clothing. Instead, the kilt manufacturers were told to use a space on the form intended for the reporting of women's skirts. Sean Connery was quoted in a Glasgow newspaper as saying 'If this is the case, I have been wearing a woman's skirt for more than 45 years now.'
You don't suppose that 'Scotchguard' got its start because Scotsmen reportedly don't wear anything under their kilts, do you?
Once You Go Black…
Peter Jasper Akinola, an Anglican Bishop from Nigeria, in denouncing gay marriage, compared a perceived attempt to force liberal values on Africa to slavery, saying: 'We in Africa are always on the receiving end.' Well, honey, if that's the case, you should be used to the idea by now.
If you have photos of what's under Sean Connery's kilt, e-mail me at DaveInChicago773@aol.com
If you have photos of what's under Bishop Peter Jasper Akinola's robes, sorry, I don't have e-mail.