The first Pretzel Logic, an all-IML column, appeared a year ago, in the July 12, 2002, issue of Nightspots. This week's column has a couple of IML items, and a whole lot of pretzel-related trivia.
OK, They Might
Not Be Much ...
I wasn't able to spend much time at IML events this year because of the demands of being in grad school and working full-time. When I mentioned to a friend that I would not have enough material for a full IML column this year, he asked me 'Can't you just make it up?' I replied 'Hey, I write for Nightspots, not The New York Times. We have standards.'
IML Hotter Than Ever—Part 1
A little before 2:00 AM Sunday of IML week I decided to take a walk down Halsted before getting in my car and going home. As I was headed south on Halsted there appeared to be magenta-colored mylar glitter scattered all over the sidewalk from just north of Circuit to just south of the Dakota. It was either that, or a group of drag queens exploded themselves in protest against the contentious condos.
IML Hotter Than Ever—Part 2
Just seconds after passing the Dakota I saw a car in the middle of Halsted, on fire. A couple of guys with fire extinguishers showed up to put out the flames. No word yet on whether exploding drag queens were in any way involved.
Freedom Biscuit Logic?
The pretzel originated in the Alsace region of France.
Beware The Ides
Of Pretzel Logic
According to some historians, the pretzel was introduced to Alsace by the Romans, who called it 'panis tordus.' If you change the 'a' to an 'e' in that phrase, do you get the Latin word for 'pretzel stick'?
The Patron St. Of Cowboy Boot-Wearing Gay Columnists
Sometimes A Pretzel
Is Just A Cigar
At pages.prodigy.net/darvi/pretzel.htm you can read a fictional account of a woman who, as part of a sexual encounter with President Bush, inserts a pretzel stick into an orifice where no Pretzel Logic columnist has gone before.
This Is Looking
Like A Bad Trend
Some rock band called the Buzz Poets recorded a song called 'Pretzel Sex' which is about a man who has 'twisted' sex with a woman.
The Downward
Spiral Continues
Some guy named Ted Eytan has a column called 'Straight As A Pretzel.'
Finally!
There is a book called 'Pretzel Logic,' written by Lisa Rogak, in which a woman discovers her husband is gay. OK, it's not much, but I'll take what I can get.
I'm Assuming It's Yogurt
For some odd reason, somebody (not me) went to the trouble of creating a Web site at http://angrypacket.com/~skip/defcon2002/Pages/Image3.html which consists of a photograph of a yogurt-covered -pretzel and a piece of penis-shaped candy, and the caption: 'penis candy and pretzel man.'
If you have any news about exploding drag queens, e-mail me at
DaveInChicago773@aol.com .
If you have a Web site that mentions pretzels in connection with straight sex, sorry I don't have e-mail.
