I didn't get a chance to write about it earlier, and hoping that late really is better than never, here is a Pretzel Logic look at legalized sodomy, gay marriage and the state of Alabama.
Doing What Comes Natural
Pope John Paul II is against allowing gays to marry because he thinks it is against 'natural moral law.' But remember, 'natural law' allows for using prayer to try to make it rain, exorcisms to expel demons, and turning wine and crackers into the Son of God's actual blood and flesh. Yep, compared to all that, two men or two women who simply love each other and want to form a legally recognized family is just downright weird.
It Takes One To Know One
The pope is also against gays and lesbians adopting children because living in a non-traditional home would 'mean doing violence to these children.' Given the church sex scandal, one thing the pope should be an expert on is violence against children.
Hey There, Georgie Girl - Part One
Cardinal Francis George got his robes in a twist when the Chicago Sun-Times ran a front page headline that said 'Pope launches global campaign against gays.' The cardinal said that as the result of 'concerted campaign' by the entertainment media to portray gays as normal and 'morally unexceptional' that 'obvious truths are now considered evidence of homophobia.' Well, when those 'obvious truths' are obvious only to homophobes ...
Hey There, Georgie Girl - Part Two
President George Bush, asked about his view of homosexuality, replied 'I am mindful that we're all sinners.' George, next time you open your mouth to insert your cowboy-booted foot, just do it as part of some kinky sex act, OK?
Did She Borrow Some Pumps From A Drag Queen?
In response to the Supreme Court decision in Lawrence v. Texas that struck down the Texas sodomy statute, Kate Kendall, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, said ' I feel like I have been walking six inches off the ground.'
God Works In Fabulous Ways
The 700 Club's Pat Robertson asked for people to pray for God to convince at least one liberal Supreme Court justice to retire to make way for a more conservative replacement. Just remember Pat, perhaps the same God you are praying to put those liberal justices there in the first place.
I Imagine It Would Be Soft, Limp, Cold And Clammy Justice
Antonin Scalia decried the Lawrence decision as possibly leading to legalized bigamy, adultery, prostitution, bestiality and obscenity, but he also added 'I have nothing against homosexuals ... '
Rename It 'Goofport'
The city council in Gulfport, Mississippi, officially condemned the Lawrence decision, with one councilman saying the decision was 'the worst thing to happen to this country since they took prayer out of schools.'
He Could Always Console Himself With Some Legalized Sodomy
The U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear an emergency appeal filed by that Alabama State Supreme Court chief judge who disobeyed a federal court order to remove a two ton granite display of the Ten Commandments from the State courthouse. The judge was then suspended from his duties pending an inquiry into his actions. God does work in fabulous ways.
If you have further evidence of God working in fabulous ways, e-mail me at DaveInChicago773@aol.com .