Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2021-09-01
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  EN LA VIDA

Por Lo Que Soy
by Raven Rodriguez
2003-02-01

This article shared 4345 times since Sat Feb 1, 2003
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


It had to happen. You know when the water is THAT calm you can always bet that it can only mean some demon snake is just below the surface ready to thrash about and wreak havoc in an otherwise quiet pond, scaring the locals stupid. It just had to happen.

And it happened just like it does in the movies. Even though the calm was eerie and unnatural, I still decided to take a swim. Meanwhile, my subconscious stood in the back of the theater screaming, 'You MORON! Don't go in the water!' I should have listened.

For reasons probably any semi-functional Latina/o can understand (the careful cultivation and evolution of guilt into this fierce conglomerate able to bend the knee of the world's most jacked up Vin Diesel), one day last month while picking my baby sister up from that lady's house to take her to mine for a visit, I decided to dive into the hellhole I swore 'Never AGAIN'. I sat in front of that lady's house and wondered if it wasn't yet time to put all this bullshit behind us. I blame the sun that was shining all too brightly in my eyes.

As I stepped out of my car and started up that lady's front steps, I could actually hear the scary background music start to play. Slow at first and it even made me hesitate, slow my roll and I thought maybe this wasn't a good idea. The forest was quiet … TOO quiet and the calm in my pond was unnatural. But just as in the movies, I ultimately failed to listen to my gut and proceeded up those steps to ring the doorbell.

My intentions had been to speak to my sister, the one who started this whole thing. You remember? The one who was (is) dating the ex-con, her baby's daddy who beats her? I had been really close to her and despite everything, I felt that perhaps having been a mother for over a year now would have changed her views a little.

I never made it to my sister. The moment I walked in THAT LADY attacked me at the door. My pond no longer calm and serene, just chaotic with the thrashing of this venomous creature's tongue. Her first wave was that of accusation, that I was keeping her grandchildren from her for nothing more than personal vendetta, and that, ultimately, all of this, this entire issue between my family and I was all my wife's fault.

I could see her slimy meandering body coming at me and just like in the movies, I tried to run but fell over the branches of her outbursts. She spat accusations of replacing my love for her with a love for a woman that was poisoning my mind against the family. I could feel her anger and bitterness snake itself around my legs, pulling me under. Before I knew it I was pulled back into the same old arguments, the same old squabbles, the same old shit. Soon I too was thrashing about my once quiet little pond and felt as angry and resentful as I had before. She accused me of inflicting the same pain on my oldest daughter that I had accused her of inflicting on me. She accused me of neglecting my oldest for my wife and the daughter we had together. She accused me of being just like her.

Then, in the middle of her threats of finding a way to see her grandchildren and getting around my vicious evil brainwashed insanity, I realized something. This had been the second time I had come into this house since I had decided to sever the ties with this family and both times I had ended up in this same fight. But not once, regardless of how much that lady was trying to hide the fact that, as always, this was about her and no one else, did she ever stop to ask me how my girls were doing. And I suddenly stopped yelling and just listened.

And as clear as the day I realized my mother could not beat me anymore, I stared down at this little angry ball of resentment and realized that I would now be completely free and able to hang the sign 'Guilt Don't Live Here No More' on my door. What I was doing, I was doing for the good of my children. What she was doing, she was doing for the sake of being right, of making me feel that I was as fallible, if not more so, as she. And as easily as I had allowed myself to slip under the muddy waters, I stood up to realize that the pond was only knee-deep.

I didn't even bother to say a word. I simply walked out with a renewed sense of conviction. I knew that this was not the environment I wanted my daughters to grow up in. I knew that going back to that house was little more than a distraction and a complete waste of time. I heard my mother yelling out after me, something about this not being the end. I smiled at my baby sister, got in the car … and I went home.


This article shared 4345 times since Sat Feb 1, 2003
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Co-founder of LGBTQ Latinx organization reflects after decades of activism 2021-10-12
- When activist Julio Rodriguez was 5 years old, a teacher forced him to stand up in class and choose another name—maybe John, she suggested, since people couldn't pronounce "Julio." By the time he got home, he ...


Gay News

Madonna's latest concert film, Madame X, now out 2021-10-09
- The concept film to Madonna's acclaimed Madame X Tour has debuted in the United States Latin America, Australia, the Nordics and Canada exclusively on Paramount+, the streaming service from ViacomCBS. Fans outside these markets can watch ...


Gay News

Latin Restaurant Weeks taking place in Chicago Oct. 4-18 2021-09-28
- National Hispanic Heritage Month takes place Sept. 15-Oct. 15, recognizing the many contributions of Hispanic Americans. As an effort to acknowledge the successful influences and cultures of Hispanic Americans, Latin Restaurant Weeks, LLC, will host its ...


Gay News

Latinx Humanist Alliance, American Humanist Association hosting activism training 2021-09-27
- The Latinx Humanist Alliance and the American Humanist Association, in partnership with the Midwest Academy, are hosting a virtual grassroots activism 101 training on Friday, Oct. 1, 4-5:30 p.m. CT; and Saturday, Oct. 2, 1-2:30 p.m. ...


Gay News

Report: 2.3M Latinx LGBT adults live in the U.S. 2021-09-23
--From a press release - A new study by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law finds that an estimated 2.3 million adults in the U.S. identify as Hispanic or Latino/a and LGBT. Researchers found that Latinx LGBT people fare ...


Gay News

THEATER 'American Mariachi' at Goodman on Sept. 18-Oct. 24 2021-09-05
- Goodman Theatre is running American Mariachi—a new comedy about the freedom to dream big, written by Jose Cruz Gonzalez, directed by Goodman Resident Artistic Associate Henry Godinez and presented as part of Chicago Latino Theater Alliance's ...


Gay News

Mental health of Black and Latinx LGBQ people worsened after the 2016 presidential election 2021-08-26
--From a Williams Institute press release - A new study from the Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law finds that the mental health of Black and Latinx LGBQ people declined in the 17 months following the 2016 presidential election of Donald ...


Gay News

Filmmakers debut Latinx-centered pandemic documentary 2021-08-06
- Community members gathered at Chicago History Museum (CHM) July 22 for the debut of the locally produced documentary Seguimos Aqui: Pride, Pandemic and Perseverance as well as a conversation with that film's primary collaborators. Seguimos Aqu ...


Gay News

Chicago photographer, activist Ed Negron dies [UPDATED] 2021-07-24
- Ed Negron—an activist, Army veteran and substance-abuse counselor who served for many years as a dedicated bisexual volunteer, mentor, leader and advocate in the LGBTQ, Latino and recovering communities—passed away ...


Gay News

Local film about Latinx community and COVID to screen July 22 2021-07-12
- On Thursday, July 22, at 6 p.m., the Chicago History Museum, 1601 N. Clark St., will host a screening of the film Seguimos Aqui. This documentary tells four unique stories of the impact of COVID on ...


Gay News

ALMA, AFC host Latino/a/x-focused COVID-19 grand rounds virtual presentation 2021-07-08
- Association of Latino/as/x Motivating Action (ALMA) and AIDS Foundation Chicago (AFC) hosted a "COVID-19 Grand Rounds—Systemic Racism and Health Disparities: The Impact of COVID-19 on Latino/a/x populations" virtual presentation July ...


Gay News

WORLD Historic ruling, Pope Francis, photo contest, Methodist Church 2021-07-04
- In a first-of-its-kind decision in Latin America, The Inter-American Court of Human Rights found the Honduran state guilty of the extrajudicial execution of transgender activist Vicky Hernandez, which occurred June 28-29, 2009, according to The Washington ...


Gay News

DANCE Joffrey Academy seeking submissions from minority applicants for competition 2021-06-01
- The Joffrey Academy of Dance, Official School of The Joffrey Ballet, has announced a national call for ALAANA (African, Latinx, Asian, Arab and Native American) artists to submit applications for The Joffrey Academy's Twelfth Annual Winning ...


Gay News

Becoming Johanna to air on WTTW 2021-05-31
--From a press release - Chicago, IL: Becoming Johanna, a compelling story that follows the struggles transgender teens face every day, airs Friday, June 25th at 8:30pm on WTTW (11.1 channel). The film follows Johanna, a 16-year-old transgender Latina, as she ...


Gay News

Illinois Latino Agenda issues statement on shooting of Adam Toledo 2021-04-15
--From a press release - On March 29, 2021, 13-year-old Adam Toledo was shot and killed by a Chicago police officer. Since the shooting, there have been different narratives formed of who Adam Toledo was. Various media have made allegations saying ...


 



Copyright © 2021 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.