It wasn't that long ago when Lindsay Higgins didn't think she'd make it to her 18th birthday.
Now, the 22-year-old couldn't be more ecstatic.
Higgins, a Chicago native, is no stranger to obstacles. Like many gay youths, she survived the extreme hardships that often accompany coming out. But now, her hard work to overcome the bumps in the road has paid off. The Point Foundation recently named Higgins the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association Point Scholar of 2005, making her dreams of medical school and a career helping the community possible.
'I was so excited,' Higgins said. 'I didn't even know what to do because med school is so expensive.' Without cosigners for loans, the recent graduate of University of Illinois--Champaign/Urbana didn't know how she was going to put it all together.
The Point Foundation is the nation's first and largest scholarship organization dedicated to supporting LGBT youth. In 2005, 20 new Point Scholars were given multi-year scholarships. Awards are given to youth who demonstrate leadership, scholastic excellence and a passion for social change despite homophobia and hardship. To date, 47 students have received the prestigious award. Higgins will receive grants to help cover the costs of attending Tulane University Medical School, and be matched with a mentor for support and skills.
Higgins grew up in northwest suburban Palatine, which she describes as uptight and lacking in diversity. The daughter of conservative Catholics, coming out her junior year of high school was no simple task.
After telling a few friends at school, word spread like wildfire. Most of her classmates weren't accepting. 'A lot of people were looking down on me for it and would mutter derogatory statements like 'dyke' at me in the hallway when we were in passing periods,' Higgins said.
'I had a few friends who were pretty OK with it,' she continued. 'But when I started going through all the mess with my parents, my friends were—well, when you are really 16 or 17 years old, it kind of gets to be a little much. They don't know how to handle it. I didn't know how to handle everything. I kind of lost a lot of friends, I guess I'd say.'
The mess with her parents began when Higgins' mother read her journal. 'I was watching the Rosie O'Donnell show and my mom came into the room and she said, 'You know Lindsay, I know you think you're gay.'' Higgins freaked out. Up to that point, she couldn't imagine her straight-laced parents knowing. After running to a friend's house, she returned home to face the music. 'They sat me down and told me that being gay is unnatural and that it is immoral,' she said. 'They said, 'We need to do something about this. We need to fix this. Don't worry, we'll fix it.'
'It's really humiliating, especially at that age to talk about sex—let alone what my parents called 'deviant' sex,' she continued.
She was quickly sent to a dozen psychologists, where blood tests were administered to check her hormone levels, Higgins explained. Her parents tried to send her to a gynecologist, but Higgins refused. 'They wanted to see if there was anything physically wrong with me,' she said. 'A lot of crazy stuff.'
The hardest part, however, was being put under house arrest for two years. No phone. No internet. No television. No friends. She was even taken out of school for a while. Higgins read, wrote in her journal ( which she hid very well, she joked ) , and listened to music—anything to pass the time.
During this time, Higgins created her community's first gay/straight alliance at Palatine's William Fremd High School. She cut through a lot of red tape with her persistence and dedication. 'I felt like there must be someone else who was going through something similar, and I just really didn't want anyone feel as alone as I was feeling,' she said. It started meeting the August after she graduated.
Forming the alliance was Higgins' therapy. 'It gave me something positive to do because everything in my life seemed so negative,' she said.
'You know, I guess realistically, I didn't ever really expect to turn 18 and be able to move out,' Higgins said. Surviving seemed unfathomable. 'Every day felt like a month. I just couldn't ever imagine turning 18, but somewhere inside of me I felt that maybe someday I could make it through this and maybe someday I'd be happy again.'
Higgins banked on that small chance, and on her birthday moved out to put herself through college, earn a degree in psychology and pave the way to her success.
At school, Higgins tried to 'keep all the balls up in the air' while working as LGBT campus leader, maintaining an honors status and working to pay the bills. She quickly learned the art of time management and discipline now that she had freedom. The sudden responsibility was frightening, but this naturally driven individual never doubted herself. 'I knew hell or high water, I was going to medical school,' she laughed.
'I just knew what I wanted to do and I knew that nobody else was going to help me get there,' she continued. 'I had to do it on my own; otherwise it wasn't going to happen. I really had no choice about it.'
Higgins is excited about medical school, although she's unsure what she'll specialize in. However, she is certain she wants to make changes to the healthcare system. Higgins wants to make the healthcare field more LGBT-friendly; give partners the right to healthcare benefits and pensions; and change the medical school curriculum to be more encompassing of minority issues. 'There is a huge gap in cultural competency,' she said. 'It's as if [ doctors ] don't know how to talk to patients anymore.' For example, she added, many LGBT patients don't reveal their identities to their doctors, so they don't receive treatment for specific issues.
Higgins is enjoying life before she heads off to school. Now engaged and living in Champaign for the summer, she spends a lot of time outdoors with her fiancé and friends. 'Yeah, I'm really happy,' she said.
