Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2023-12-13
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor

  NIGHTSPOTS

Peeks n' Tweaks
by Andrew Davis
2004-01-14

This article shared 1540 times since Wed Jan 14, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


1) Don't tell me: Madonna has voiced her support for General Wesley Clark to be President of the United States. I hope he doesn't start wearing a cone bra now.

2) The Gest man: How could David Gest not know that

something was up with Liza? He should've suspected something when she screamed the wrong name during sex – Jack Daniels.

3) Discuss: After he was

captured, didn't Saddam Hussein look like an Iraqi Nick Nolte?

4) Going at it: Teen actresses Lindsay Lohan (Freaky Friday) and Hilary Duff (Cheaper by the Dozen) are currently feuding over ... a boy, of course. I hope they settle things like mature individuals – on Fox's next installment of Celebrity Boxing.

5) Beer and now: The recent Beer Drinker of the Year Championship in Denver featured competitions in drinking, beer knowledge, and "beer whispering." I hope Robert Redford doesn't option THAT as a movie.

6) Kelis: Her new single, "Milkshake," celebrates jiggling breasts. She's basically the new Dairy Queen.

7) Drink up: The amaretto cheesecake "caketail" contains cream cheese, amaretto liqueur, roasted almonds, and graham cracker crumbs. I can't wait for the fruitcake one so I can constantly give one away.

8) You've been erased: In the upcoming movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, people have the option of removing painful memories. Aren't there about 10 or 20 dates you'd like to delete from your memory bank?

9) Doggone: In England, a collie went to retrieve a stick and came back with a live grenade. ("What's that, Lassie? You said Timmy went boom?")

10) Ad boy, ad boy: A Gatorade commercial will showcase Michael Jordan from 1987 playing the present-day Jordan ... or, as I like to call them, Jordan B.M. (Before Mistress) and A.M. (After Mistress).

11) Oil's well that ends well: Some people at the University of Vermont have cars that run on

vegetable oil. I'll be really impressed when the engines double as skillets.

12) Milk of Magnesia: It's now sold in French vanilla in addition to its regular flavor. Pretty soon it'll be available in all Starbucks flavors.

13) LL Cool J: He said that he won't eat pork or scallops because he feels like he's eating someone's colon. And he knows what a colon tastes like because... ?

14) Going to great lengths: A Japanese psychic named Kaho claims to tell men's futures by

performing oral sex on them. She told Tommy Lee that he would live a long life.

15) Moby: He was attacked after a concert during which he spoke out against aggression and

violence. It's a good thing he didn't speak out against pregnancy.

16) Here's a line not to use: "Is that a keg in your butt? 'Cause I'd like to tap it."

I'm at westelm406@yahoo.com .


This article shared 1540 times since Wed Jan 14, 2004
facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Out and Aging
Presented By

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Billy Masters: Barry Manilow really was just interested in the articles 2023-12-19
- "I wouldn't be in it now if they gave me a million dollars. I'm never going to change my mind. They can just go you-know-what themselves." —Cher tells Kelly Clarkson her thoughts on being snubbed by ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: The icing on the cake at a gender-reveal party 2023-12-05
- "To hell with this place!"—George Santos's parting comments after being ejected from Congress. He also said that Congress "is full of felons galore." At least, that's what I think he said. With his lisp, it sounded ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Britney spills the tea 2023-10-31
- "Brad Pitt, I think, in 'Troy'. That's a beautiful man. There's no denying it."—Jacob Elordi tells Jimmy Fallon his first celebrity crush. (If you can't place Jacob, you'll soon see him playing Elvis Presley in Sofia ...


Gay News

UPDATE: Suspect arrested for arson at San Diego queer women's bar 2023-10-20
- San Diego resident Ryan Habrel has been arrested for committing arson at Gossip Grill, a queer women's bar in San Diego's Hillcrest neighborhood, according to LGBTQ San Diego County News. ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: Billy unlocks the DaVinci Code 2023-09-04
- "Mmmkay! And I'm 110lbs and a virgin! I'm not a scale or a doctor but I have spent some time beneath 215 lb. men and Tiny was not one of them." —Stormy Daniels' Tweet about the alleged weight of the former president. ...


Gay News

Billy Masters: The fine line between sonnets and restraining orders 2023-08-29
- "It exploded in my mouth. I wasn't expecting that." —Nya on the "And Just Like That..." season finale, after she "ate the black one." Oh, that Michael Patrick King—so clever. People these days are very quick ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2022-08-21
- "It has nothing to do with not wanting to see Lea. I text with Lea. She and I are fine. I'm thrilled for her. I love working with Julie. I loved working with Beanie. There's no drama here. None."—Jane Lynch's exit ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2022-08-08
- "I wasn't trying to have his career because he sings, he dances. I'm barely a single threat. I'm just an actor."—Tuc Watkins, explaining how he emulated the career trajectory of Kevin Kline— to the best of ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2022-08-01
- "Mike, you's in danger, man."—Whoopi Goldberg paraphrases her line from Ghost (or, as Barbara Walters always called it, The Ghost) in response to Pence's former aide Marc Short revealing what almost happened to the VP on ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2022-07-18
- "You ain't never seen shade like gay man shade!"—Ana Navarro when discussing Chasten Buttigieg's tweet about U.S. Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh sneaking out of a restaurant to avoid people staging a peaceful pro-choice demonstratio ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2022-07-11
- "Wait a minute. Okay. Hold on a second here. You complain about me. I'm too weird. I'm too dark, and then you put nipples on the costume? Go fuck yourself!"—Tim Burton explains how he dealt with ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2022-06-20
- "u don't know my alphabet."—Sexy Lukas Gage (from The White Lotus; Love, Victor; and the rebooted Queer as Folk) tweets his response to criticism that Hollywood shouldn't hire him to play LGBTQIA+ roles. When asked to ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2022-06-13
- "I thought I was searching for a Disney Prince, but maybe what I really needed was a Disney Princess!"—Rebel Wilson discusses how she came to the realization that she might be gay. Sigh … they're always ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2022-06-06
- "My mother says that she will not sleep with anybody over the age of 25."—Rocco Ritchie talking about Madonna. This tidbit came courtesy of Dame Joan Collins—who prefaced the quote by saying "We were with her ...


Gay News

Billy Masters 2022-03-21
- "I'm proud of whatever small part I've played in continuing Norman's great legacy, but it's mixed with sadness, because I know how many trans and non-binary and queer kids are still having those sleepless nights. I ...


 


Copyright © 2024 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.

All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor


 



Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.