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  NIGHTSPOTS

Peeks and Tweaks
rants, raves and everything in between
by Andrew Davis
2003-02-26

This article shared 1474 times since Wed Feb 26, 2003
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1) Michael Jackson, Part I: In the remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, he would play the one named Creepy.

2) Michael Jackson, Part II: In that BBC interview, he claimed to have had only two nose jobs. Maybe he meant per year.

3) Comiskey Park: Baseball fans are upset that its name is being changed to U.S. Cellular Field. Just be glad it's not Pantene Park or Tampax Stadium.

4) Times have changed: In 1971, then-Miss America Phyllis George blasted hippies for wearing the American flag on their bottoms. Today, we're lucky if the pants have bottoms.

5) Fill 'er up: The iGlassware prototype senses when it's almost empty and signals for a refill ... just to make sure that everyone is attractive to you at the end of the night.

6) Stone cold: A Montana high school principal wants Rolling Stone magazine banned from the school library because the mag promotes violence, sex and drug use. He likes Playboy, though, because it teaches the basics of anatomy.

7) The doctor will whack you now: Oregon Health & Science University is offering a lecture on the psychiatry of The Sopranos. Here's hoping the professor isn't named Big Pussy.

8) Taking the high road: Madonna has been advocating for world peace and has been lamenting the lack of morality in entertainment. In related news, hell has officially frozen over.

9. P. Diddy: He's supposedly thinking about running for President ... but, if he wins, who will he appoint Secretary of Bling Bling?

10) Very foul: In Milwaukee, one boy shot another during a basketball game at a church. What church was associated with this ... Our Lady of the Drive-By?

11) ClonAid: Look ... when you clone Colin Farrell, THEN publicize it, OK?

12) Christina Aguilera: Have you seen her lately? Yes, she can sing ... but it looks like she's gone from Star Search to strip search.

13) Just wondering: Who's storing more chemicals ... Saddam Hussein or Whitney Houston?

14) Animal rights: Members of the Animal Liberation Front supposedly vandalized delivery trucks of Villa Park's Supreme Lobster & Seafood Company. If only someone could vandalize the Chicago Bulls bus to prevent those creatures from being slaughtered.

15) Joe Millionaire: Now there are rumors that he got a contestant pregnant ... which might lead to the sequel 'Joe Mama.'

16) R. Kelly: If any judge treated him with kid gloves, he might like it too much.

17) Ed-ache: Fox plans to remake the '60s show Mister Ed. Joan Rivers is negotiating to play the lead.

18) Betty Loren-Maltese: Look at the bright side. She might get Martha Stewart as a cellmate.

19) The Fireball Weekend: When only the flesh will do...

Keep sending feedback! What do you like or simply detest? I'm at adavis@starmail.com .

----------------------------------------


This article shared 1474 times since Wed Feb 26, 2003
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