Windy City Media Group Frontpage News

THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2022-06-08
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
Donate

Sponsor
Sponsor

  WINDY CITY TIMES

Patrick Dati raises voice against domestic abuse
by Charlsie Dewey
2017-05-31

This article shared 1058 times since Wed May 31, 2017
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email


After coming out, Patrick Dati fell for a man who seemed great at first, but later began physically abusing him.

The abuse went on for a long time, reaching its peak one night when Dati said his partner threw him down a flight of stairs, sending him to the hospital with a broken arm.

Dati said by this point everyone was already aware of the abuse. His friends had encouraged him to get out of the relationship and many had abandoned him because they couldn't stand to watch him stay with his abuser.

That night was his turning point, but Dati said it wasn't easy and for most men and LGBT victims of intimate partner violence, getting out can be especially challenging and dangerous.

"When I speak at the Center on Halsted now and I speak to the youth, most are young, they meet older men or women who are successful and they move in with them. They've been deserted from their families and if they leave they have nowhere to go.

"That is the problem in regard to the LGBT community with domestic violence. It typically is the younger youth who draw to someone that they think can help them and they fall in love with them and that person is supportive financially and then that person becomes abusive and then they don't know how to get out and escape. It sounds really easy, they can walk out the door, but where will you go if you don't have the financial ability?"

Dati said in his situation he was able to move in with his parents for a while to escape his abuser and later sought help at Center on Halstead.

"I was living with him at that point and I needed to leave that situation," he said. "I waited until he left and we removed all my items from his house and I moved back to my parents' house and he began stalking me. He came to my parent's house. I had a restraining order against him and my friends all knew it. He haunted me for several months. It was very difficult."

The situation wasn't Dati's first experience with violence. As a nine year old, he became the victim of serial killer and rapist John Wayne Gacy, who he said raped him in a public restroom.

That traumatic event had sent his life into a tailspin.

"After I was raped, I changed as an individual," he said.

He said he fell into a deep depression, flunked the third grade and began distancing himself from others.

"I kind of became this sheltered kid," he said.

Dati said the assault also led to more abusive situations, including the one with his first male partner.

"People who have been abused are drawn to abusive people, but in my situation I was drawn to people that were good to me in the beginning and then it turned abusive," he said. "I felt I needed to help them and that I could help them, to stop them from abusing others."

Today, Dati is determined to use his experiences to help others. He said male victims are often forgotten about and he hopes to change that.

In 2014, he wrote his memoir, I Am Me, detailing the abuse he endured and its impacts and he began doing public speaking engagements to talk about his experiences.

Dati, who lives in Chicago, regularly speaks to youth at the Center on Halstead and has previously led discussions with the Chicago Police Department on intimate partner violence and how it uniquely impacts men and LGBT victims.

"It's public knowledge 80 to 85 percent of men don't come forward about their abuse out of fear and shame," Dati said. "It's no different in the LGBT community."

Recently, Dati was asked to join the Elite Speakers Bureau as its first gay male survivor of domestic abuse. He will speak to audiences nationwide about intimate partner violence affecting gay and straight men and the LGBTQ community.

Denise Brown, eldest sister of the late Nicole Brown Simpson, formed The Elite Speakers Bureau in 2010 to bring awareness and provide education on domestic violence, school safety, child abuse, teen violence, elder abuse, stalking, net crimes, workplace violence, victims of crime, sexual assault, mental health & wellness and more.

"I am so grateful to Denise Brown for giving me this platform to amplify the often invisible issue of domestic abuse impacting gay men, straight men and members of the LGBTQ community," Dati said.

Dati was also elected earlier this year to the board of directors for the Break the Silence Foundation, a domestic violence non-profit. He is serving as chairman of the planning committee.

Dati is also working on a second book, which he said is focused on the impacts of intimate partner violence and domestic violence on mental health.

"A lot of times folks think that goes away with therapy or medication," he said. "People believe you are cured and you are not. I learned that firsthand when my first book came out and I was on a book tour, doing radio, TV, etcetera. I thought 'I'm making a difference and doing something great for the world,' but then it slipped away and part of the reason is I stopped seeing my psychiatrist and taking my meds, and that happens to a lot of individuals."

Dati said his message to others is pretty simple, "You need to get out of that situation because it isn't going to change."

He added, "For me, it was a cycle of abuse. I didn't want to live that way anymore and I wanted to be a happy person and I wanted to be secure. There is hope and you don't need to live with abuse. Sometimes it is difficult to walk away, but at the same time by walking away you get back your sense of security."

He also encourages individuals experiencing abuse or who have left abusive situations to get professional help in dealing with the trauma.

"Most importantly is psychological therapy," he said. "Without that it's not going to change."

Dati and Brown will speak at Break the Silence Foundation's annual gala on Friday, Oct. 27, at the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center, 5555 Rosemont Rd., in Rosemont, Illinois.


This article shared 1058 times since Wed May 31, 2017
facebook twitter pin it google +1 reddit email

  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Actor Ezra Miler seeking treatment for mental-health issues
2022-08-16
After troubling behavior that has included charges of harassment and felony burglary, as well as allegations of assault and abuse, non-binary actor Ezra Miller (Justice League; The Perks of Being a Wallflower), said they are seeking ...


Gay News

WORLD Vietnam's pro-LGBTQ+ move, Grindr kidnappings, Taiwan event
2022-08-14
Video below - Vietnam took a major step forward in the recognition of LGBTQ+ rights with the country's Ministry of Health stating that being gay, bisexual or transgender is not a disease and urging medical practitioners to end discrimination ...


Gay News

NATIONAL: Conn. candidate, trans study, D.C. attacks, Palm Springs Pride
2022-08-14
LGBTQ Victory Fund-endorsed candidate Erick Russell won the Democratic primary election for Connecticut state treasurer, according to an organizational press release. With this victory, he is on track to become the first out Black LGBTQ+ person ...


Gay News

COVID CDC 'streamlines guidance'; new info for immunocompromised
2022-08-13
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued a statement saying it is "streamlining its COVID-19 guidance to help people better understand their risk, how to protect themselves and others, what actions to take if ...


Gay News

Cook County officials discuss MPV timelines
2022-08-12
Members of the Cook County Health and Hospitals Committee gathered Aug. 8 to hear details from local health officials on the monkeypox virus' (MPV's) impact on both suburban Cook County and Chicago, and their planned responses. ...


Gay News

Monkeypox vaccine events being held Aug. 13-14
2022-08-12
The Chicago Department of Public Health (CDPH), along with City Colleges, will be holding monkeypox (MPV) vaccination events. The two events will be held at Malcolm X College on the West Side and Kennedy-King College on ...


Gay News

Young LGBQ adults experience more psychological distress than older LGBQ people
2022-08-11
-- From a Williams Institute press release - A new study by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law finds younger LGBQ adults are physically healthier but have worse psychological distress than older LGBQ people. Researchers examined a representative sample of LGBQ people ...


Gay News

Howard Brown Health employees win union election
2022-08-11
More than 470 employees at Chicago-based Howard Brown Health clinics, Broadway Youth Center and Brown Elephant retail locations announced Aug. 10 that they have won their union election, with 97% of the votes cast. This is ...


Gay News

Big Cities Health Coalition holds monkeypox virus briefing
2022-08-11
Big Cities Health Coalition (BCHC) held a virtual monkeypox virus briefing Aug. 10 fthat ocused on local public health activities in Chicago. Speakers included BCHC Executive Director Chrissie Juliano and BCHC member and Chicago Department of ...


Gay News

Calif. Gov. Gavin Newsom names first queer woman to state supreme court
2022-08-11
California Gov. Gavin Newsom announced his intention to appoint Alameda County Superior Court Judge Kelli Evans to serve as an associate justice of the California Supreme Court to fill the vacancy created by Justice Guerrero's elevation ...


Gay News

Center on Halsted hosting monkeypox vaccine clinics
2022-08-10
Center on Halsted, 3656 N. Halsted St., continues its monkeypox vaccine clinics through August. These clinics are for first-dose vaccinations only. Online registration for each clinic opens at 10 a.m. each Wednesday prior to that respective ...


Gay News

Dance for Life 2022 taking place Aug. 13 at the Auditorium Theatre
2022-08-09
-- From a press release - Chicago Dancers United (CDU), which supports the health and wellness of Chicago's professional dance community, presents seven companies and a world premiere finale for its 31st annual fundraiser, Dance for Life 2022. The event takes place ...


Gay News

Montreal Pride Parade is canceled
2022-08-08
Citing security concerns, the organizers of the Fierte Montreal Pride Parade abruptly canceled the Aug. 7 event at the last minute, The Washington Blade reported. The other events scheduled at the Esplanade of the Olympic Park—T-Dance ...


Gay News

NATIONAL Okla. schools, Tenn. lawsuit, political items, Mich. library
2022-08-07
Video below - Oklahoma public schools have started requiring students from kindergarten to college to complete "biological sex affidavits" if they want to compete in school sports, in accordance with a state law that took effect earlier this year, ...


Gay News

WORLD Zelensky, French position, UK drag-queen shows, triathlons
2022-08-07
Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky confirmed he will ask Ukraine's government to look into legalizing same-sex marriage after the war with Russia ends, PinkNews reported. Ukraine's constitution defines marriage as between a man and a woman. Last ...


 



Copyright © 2022 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 
 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS







Sponsor
Sponsor


 

Sponsor


Donate


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Advanced Search     
Windy City Queercast      Queercast Archives     
Press  Releases      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast      Blogs     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam     
Privacy Policy     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.