Mercury plays us for a fool this April as it weaves and bobs through the cosmos and deposits its droppings on various heads. Our carefully ordered lives are disrupted with miscommunication. But what gets muddied in the April showers soon brings those magnificent May flowers!
ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 20) Gay Rams and their money are soon parted. The information you receive is flawed or misinterpreted. Wait, wait, wait until after the 30th before you plunk down your hard-earned cash for a dollar and a dream. Fabulous baubles don't grow on trees you know.
TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21) What adventures await you this April? Retro Mercury rampages through the zodiac and disrupts best laid plans. Social snafus hogtie and brand you. Of course some folks like that sort of thing, but not the proud Bull. Plan after the 30th cowpoke.
GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21) Monsters in your closet call the shots in mid-April as your imagination conjures ridiculous scenarios. Don't cringe in your closet cousin. Put your best foot forward and step Out. It becomes clearer after the 30th that your timing was just fine.
CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23) Pink Crabs wonder if they have lost their schmoozability when Mercury causes miscommunication between friends. Keep your sunnyside up; by May the conversational cloud clears and you become the spark of the social circuit once again. Ouch!!
LEO (JULY 24 - AUG. 23) It's a rocky road to corporate Olympus so give yourself ample planning time. By the 30th proud Lions can finalize their strategy for a coup d'etat. But will the spark still be there to do the deed or will you be one of those 'live and let live' types?
VIRGO (AUG. 24 - SEPT. 23) Travel has its surprises. Queer Virgins experience retro Mercury when guesthouse reservations in Key West are switched to a Holiday Inn Friars convention. All is salvaged with a reconfirmation and carry-ons. But who will be in the seat next to you...?
LIBRA (SEPT. 24 - OCT. 23) Whispering words of lust in some charmer's ear may not have its intended effect. Your pearls are tossed before a real swine. Rather than slink away, gay Libras should 'do' rather than 'say'. Actions speak louder and prouder than words anyway, compadre.
SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. 22) In love, words need not be spoken. Just as well; Retro Mercury works like a cosmic landmine for proud Scorps in unstable relationships or on the prowl. Roll with the waves and don't start your frantic dog paddle until you see friendlier shores.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 23 - DEC. 22) Are you talking to yourself at work? Your instructions are ignored or misunderstood. Count to ten and take heart gay Archer; retro Mercury will wend and dissipate by the 30th. In the meantime, take a couple of coffee breaks and enjoy the beautiful silence.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 23 - JAN. 20) Pink Caps have creative block. Forget about planning something stupendous. Settle for the mediocre while you wait for your gay muse to rouse. Party hounds should check the invitation to be sure of time and venue. Gee, I was sure that it was a pajama party....
AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. 19) Do you feel the urge to lay your festering family issues out on the table? Mercury reduces the attention that your concerns deserve. But that doesn't mean that you kowtow to the straight and narrow; far from it. Live your life and tell 'em about it next month.
PISCES (FEB. 20 - MARCH 20) Emotional Guppies should become more reticent. Strong commentary should be shelved until after the 30th. Otherwise, you may find yourself hoisted on your own petard. Please be sure to wear clean petards in case you meet someone special.
© 2004 MADAM LICHTENSTEIN, LLC., All Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Cruise www.TheStarryEye.com for prescient horoscopes. Madam is the author of 'HerScopes; A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians' from Simon & Schuster.
